This might be a hot take, but people don’t seem to realise that like… how do I explain this…
well let me put it this way;
In modern society, think about how sex is described for women. Women don’t fuck, they get fucked. Think about how porn describes women being fucked. They get dominated, they get destroyed.
Think about how much porn is about rape, choking and other violence against women.
this type of talk dominates how cis dudes talk about sex with women, don’t pretend it doesn’t.
There is a reason that our language considers shit like “Get fucked” “Fuck you” and “I’m going to fuck you up” as insults. To fuck someone is to be the victor, to be fucked is to be humiliated, to be destroyed and dehumanised.
I mean, thankfully women are slowly taking back sex as something good and fun and empowering. But that history of sex as violent still lingers.
Kink is totally fine. As you said, it’s just a reflection of the violence of the culture, but not necessarily an expression of that violence.
I thought of adding a “to do a kink is totally fine” message to my comment, but I was a bit lazy. Sorry.