We’ll just all assume that every person who gets this would make themselves early twenties with flawless skin, perfect organs, appendages and functionality, and no excess weight.
My question is, would you change yourself from your genetic baseline, and if so, how?
I’m trans so yes, I’ve been trying to do that for over a decade
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I’d get a new bum. Mine’s cracked.
That’s nothing, mine has a hole that goes all the way through!
If you really think about it, people are just donuts with anxiety
Hold on, just a thought. If a straw only has one hole because it goes all the way through, then anus and mouth are both the same hole.
We are NOT having the “how many holes does a straw have?” arguement again!
Why not?
I thought we all agreed that a straw was a tube with one hole all the way through it, and that one hole has two openings.
You could become the unibummer.
MEND BUTTCRACK
Do I have to have a biological body? I don’t want to be carbon based anymore.
From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel.
-MisterNeon
That quote gets thrown around at me alot. Which is weird since I paint Orks.
I mean I’ve heard that arsenic-based life forms are plausible but I think you have to live in a methane Rich environment to survive so you would basically like collapse into a puddle of toxic goo
I was hoping for something more mechanical or digital. If I’m going through all the hassle of getting a new body then I don’t want to bother with the habits of the old one ( eating, sleeping, etc).
So basically just like turn you into Data.
I was thinking a bit more industrial.
But bender drinks, and sleeps…I think he eats? Maybe? I know he doesn’t have taste buds though. They did a whole episode on him cooking with lsd.
Drinking is for fuel and they’ve demonstrated that the robots can have alternate fuel sources. A Bender body is perfect because I can claim a major victory against entropy while not going crazy by sacrificing my human stimulus (like Metalo from Superman). I want to be unfettered from Earthly needs while still being able to party.
TIL Alex Mack probably smelled like a fart.
Good news! You are now water based! Nothing changed, enjoy your wish!
Awww c’mon this ain’t monkey paw.
I would absolutely:
- Get rid of anxiety (assuming there’s some genetic component to this - seems like all the women in my family have it)
- Change my eye color from hazel (mixed green & brown) to full green
- Add about 5 inches of height (I’m only 5’0")
- Add gills to my sides that deploy at will when under water, but otherwise are hidden
- Fix that annoying “it went down the wrong pipe” design flaw
- Add a nictitating membrane to help fix my dry eyes
- Wings? Maybe!
Definitely wings. First thing I thought of. Unfortunately that would require a massive redesign. Firstly, you’d need hollow bones, as well as a very low body fat percentage. Decent chance boobs and butt don’t grow hardly at all. Secondly, you’d need extremely strong chest muscles, which also still have to be light. And in order to provide enough energy for that, you’d need a larger and stronger heart with wider blood vessels. You’d also need to most likely quintuple your daily calorie intake. Possibly more depending on how often/when/ where you are flying. You would also want lungs with more surface area to absorb oxygen better, even at low altitudes. Especially at higher altitudes. That would likely mean a stronger diaphram. Stronger leg muscles for takeoff/landing. Better eyes for scoping out landing points and avoiding hazards. Most birds don’t fly at night, so you may consider something akin to a cats eyes, or go the bat route with echolocation. And you’re going to need a neutral remapping unless you just plan to replace your arms with the wings. Fortunately, outside of a higher energy cost, that last one might happen automatically, our brains are very plastic.
Congratulations, you’re a Harpy
What a thorough breakdown haha
Hmm… hollow bones might negate the need for gills.
I’d completely change everything and end up being a perpetually horny sex doll
Mood
No more garbage genetics please. EDS, pots, ADHD, probably autism (on the waiting list for testing), chronic stomach troubles, depression, anxiety, hormone imbalances, PCOS, chronic pain, inflammation, weak loose skin. All that can go fuck right off forever and die. Once my body actually worked, and looked like it wasn’t cursed from the get go, I think I might actually like it. Mostly. Might like an androgynous unit for daily living and a feminine one for sexy times. Both thoroughly muscular of course. Gotta get that muscle tone. If we went for non human stuff on top of that, wings. Huge fuck off dragon wings. None of that Superman flying shit, I wanna FEEL the flight. Hell, I’d probably actually be able to enjoy doing any physical activity if my fucking body wasn’t so, so breakable. Really I just wish I wasn’t in so much pain.
i was gonna say the same. just wanna be pain free😭
Same, EDS and MCAS here. It’s fairly well controlled nowadays but I’d love not having to adhere to huge life changes and needing to down 30 pills a day.
I’d get rid of the daily headaches that started around 12, all the random aches and pains I’ve had since my early 20s, and give myself better dental/oral genes so I didn’t end up with a cavity every damned year.
But the thing is those are changes I’d make with CRISPR, too, if we knew enough about genes to actually implement them. I’d do it in a heartbeat.
The aesthetics aren’t that important, tho I wouldn’t mind having thicker hair. My mom got a nose job and told me I have her old nose, and even that I’d keep.
I’d keep my adhd/autism/personality/appearance stuff, just want the rogue pain/deterioration genes fixed.
https://shop.zollipops.com/products/new-zolli-gum-popz-40ct-display?variant=44151760158976
Might help with the cavities, gl
Smaller penis.
Trade?
I wouldn’t wish this burden on anyone.
It’s not worth it my dude. Having a big ass dick is such a hassle.
Don’t worry, I’ll hold it for you and make things easier. I wouldn’t want to make it any harder than it has to be.
I would.
I’ve never seen an ass dick, is it pretty different from a regular dick?
It’s just how you use it…
Oh wow so you shit out your dick? Very inventive
Yeah instead of a bell end and balls it has an anus and cheeks.
Like a reverse dick butt?
As I’m trans I would change my body to align it with my gender identity. But I would love to start at an earlier age, I want the whole experience.
Trans people have entered the chat 🙂
- add tail
- make cell cloning perfect
- better error correction
- add error messages other than “pain here figure it out”
- do away with blood types
- all colors are now customizable
better error correction
ECC is finally supported on the human platform lets go
okay but have you considered that a tail would make most chairs incredibly uncomfortable for you? also do you really want to be able to fall on your ass and break your tail?
I think we lost the tail for a reason.
small price to pay for tail
Never change a running system. Even small changes may have unexpected consequences, if the machine is as complex as our bodies…
Counterpoint: the cable management of the human body is fucked
For extra fun show this to your friends who are on very powerful psychogenic chemicals
90 millions years of evolution, or you: who knows better?
It looks funny on pictures, but i bet everything would go south if you would straighten it out or reorganize it.
If you don’t know the intend why it looks as it currently looks i would not touch it. even if you know why it looks like that and you can somehow compensate those effects, i would not do this on my own body for the first time…
I think one thing I would change is that the nostrils would use a slightly different air path then the swallowing mechanism, so that if you were to choke on food you could still breathe and get air into your lungs to expel the food.
Pretty sure those changes were made to get us better vocal cords, allowing us more range for speech. Here’s the first link I found that talks about it.
I think a minor change to my ACL to fix my knee and bring it back to normal healthy condition is a small enough change to not cause unexpected consequences, since it’s just restoring it to new condition.
hm. i did not think about serious illnesses when writing my comment. maybe we can specify this as a “not running system”, but i can understand that my first snarky comment could be perceived as rude when you have problems with your body. i fear i walked right in the privileged trap without realizing it?
Found the robot!
How do you “reboot”, medically-induced coma?
you can not.
just think about it: 80 to 100 years uptime, no reboot, no fall back system, not even a cold spare. and you want to change something while its running? madness! maybe if you are very lucky you may be able to replace some of the internal components… but not to upgrade, only if your on the risk to loose the whole system…
Let’s see here, I think I would implement…
- better cable management for more efficient routing
- A settings menu to enable things like “abundant food” mode, set body hair preferences, etc.
- 3 sets of teeth, make baby teeth last a little longer like my first one fell out when I was about 5 or 6, I’d start replacing them at like age 8, then the middle set would last until about 35 and then you get your last set.
- Sperm valve with 2FA.
- There’s probably some upgrades we can make to the eyes.
- Maybe some kind of heat pump system for urine, so if its very hot you can take a 150 degree piss and save some sweat, or if its very cold you can piss ice water to retain more heat.
- build caliper functionality into my hands, so I can know the size of something just by holding it.
I heard they recently developed a meta material that can passively convert approximately 1500 mm wavelengths down to 500 mm wavelengths.
Incorporated into sunglasses they purport themselves as being non-powered night vision goggles.
If they could incorporate that into contacts that would be fucking stellar.
2FA HAHAHAHAHA
Everyone’s trying to steal your data these days.
3 sets? I’ll take a shark-like conveyor belt mouth of infinite teeth thank you
I would settle for exchanging baby teeth a part of puberty. Just that extra few years of wear transferred from the second set to the first set I think would make a load of difference.
I would change everything in a heartbeat. You wouldn’t even be able to finish explaining what the button did before I pressed it like 7 times lol
I absolutely loath who I am, physically and mentally.
I’d keep my natural self.
I’ve been a software developer before. I know exactly how well my self-designed body would work.
Makes me think of the book series Magic 2.0
