It’s entirely self identified, you are not an incel because you’re a 19 year old virgin, no one is going to call you an incel, but if you get sucked into one of these groups and start thinking of yourself this way, you’re doing a lot of harm to yourself. There’s a lot of men who didn’t lose their virginity into their 20s, it wasn’t because they were forced to be virgins against their will, it just takes time, effort, and self care to attract a partner, if you want a partner rather than an encounter, which plenty of men want a partner, it takes some time to get there.

Again, it’s a self identified thing, people might use it as an insult at someone, but no one is an incel until they personally decide that’s what’s happening in their life. And they’re usually wrong, no guy under 30 is capable of being an incel in my opinion.

At least with Mgtow (a different men’s group called ‘men going their own way’) if you show up in their spaces and you’re under 30 and not divorced or married, they will tell you you’re in the wrong place, you shouldn’t be there, and that community isn’t related to anything you’re going through.