So, the part that really resonated for me was when Owen just whips out a box cutter and starts hacking open their own chest. Taken literally, it’s a very “start living or die trying” kind of scene. I went through something similar on my own journey, and at about that same age.

I made myself very sick while dabbling with an overly risky form of DIY HRT after having decided that I would rather accept the risk of dying from liver failure than continue existing as someone I’m not. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was 8 years old, and those first few weeks on shitty phytoestrogen and herbal T-blockers and liver enzyme suppressants and so forth were the first time I didn’t feel that way. I saw myself in the mirror and for the first time in literal decades, I felt more intrigued than repulsed, as if something in my brain had just clicked into place.

I did end up stopping that HRT “program” after less than three months because I kept getting intense migraines and I was always sick to my stomach from the amount of stuff I was taking, but it ended up being a wake-up call. Let’s just say that I felt like a complete ass when someone over here linked the DIY HRT wiki and I realized that all of that risk was unnecessary.

I guess it’s not as dramatic as self-surgery with a box cutter, but what is?