She wanted me to make this post, because she is not sure if she is just “weird” or if she can get diagnosed with ADHD and/or autism and make her life a bit easier. The symptoms that bother her the most are the following:

• Sometimes walks away from uninteresting conversations without realizing (with familiar people) with strangers, feels like being held hostage.

• Intense focus to the point of forgetting to eat, drink water and neglecting to go to the toilet.

• Periods of low mood and anhedonia vs periods of intense obsession(?) and excitement with some activity (specific game or game genre, desktop customization).

• Diagnosed with dysthymia and BPD traits (due to self-harm).

• Suicidal thoughts since 14 yo but never made an attempt.

• Low self esteem.

• Persistent interests for many years in which she has made great contributions.

• Does not like to go out much and feels dirty after going out.

• Very annoyed by insects, afraid of bees and wasps.

• She is a perfectionist.

• In kindergarten, she would not go out for recess if she was still in the middle of doing something (finishing a drawing).

• When learning how to do something, she liked repeating the process e.g. making boxes out of paper, drawing the same image.

• Always sits with her knees close to her chest.

• Occasionally rocks back and forth or from side to side sometimes repeats certain sounds / jingles / song melodies.

• She thinks in images instead of words, except when having depression-related thoughts (e.g. “I am useless”), or positive thoughts (“I can do this”) or when daydreaming scenes with dialogue.

• Because of this, speaking is hard for her as she has to translate the images to words.

• Performs great at work but gets burned out quickly.

• Is bad at socializing, and has cut contact with her old friends and does not want to go back to having friends

• Zones out of conversations.