cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537
I’m 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes I’m in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).
I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why don’t you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.
The way these women asked was accusatory, like I’m a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: I’m 25, leave me alone.
Since that bad experience I’ve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe I’m 25 because as said I look like it, don’t pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they don’t push my buttons because I don’t give them any ammunition. It’s tolerable.
Note that I didn’t lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them I’m 25 and they didn’t question it.
Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I don’t know if I’d get better assignments if I’m sincere about my age (I’d like that, but is it realistic?). I just don’t want to get to 65 with a broken back. I don’t want drama either, just to work and go home.
I lie to protect myself.
If I need to change this, why and how?
I promise you that some percentage of the people you’ve lied to are fully aware that you’re lying. Nobody passes that well for 20 years younger.
I think it’s plausible when you account for the fact that some people look significantly older than their age. So this person in reality might look like an average 33 year old, but claiming 25 is still believable as some 25 year olds look like they are 33 (or older even).
Of course, looking like a person that has prematurely aged is not something I’d go out of my way to claim either.
Oh I’m fully aware I did not age well.
I’m 47 and the twentysomethings at work still think i’m their age, its hilarious, some people my age wouldn’t even talk to me until they found out im old like them. Some of us just habve great genes.
I was told I looked young for my age. Then I transitioned and lost another 5 to 7 years.
It’s certainly possible that nosey co-workers have sussed out the truth, but also some people just don’t look their age.