Sorry for the bummer question!
saw something that mentioned this being an AMAB-thing, but it definitely happened to me as well, and it just made me wonder how unusual it was to be punished (physically or otherwise) for crying as a girl
you can just yes/no, you don’t need to get into it unless you want to
(feel free to unload, probably I’m not the only person who will relate)
Yes, absolutely.
I think a lot of AMABs mistake being expected to cry as the same thing as it being accepted. You were expected to cry as a girl, but you were also treated like a “silly over emotional female” for it.
I definitely got told to toughen up as a kid
“Fix your face before i give you something to cry about” was something I heard many times.
:(
):
😞 that sentence really takes me back
Not sure that spanking me ever made me stop crying though 😂😭🤦
did they take you to a mirror, too, to show you that crying made you ugly?
They did!!! And then I would see my face and cry more, then they would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Another funny thing about the spankings were that if I managed to not cry at all, that means they didn’t hit me hard enough and had to hit me again, even harder. It’s all about crying the perfect amount.
Our families must have been working from the same manual
yeah
I’m AMAB but my girlfriend isn’t and since she doesn’t have lemmy I will speak for her.
Yes, she was often told that she’d be given something to cry about and things similar to that. Her crying was called fake or pathetic or annoying.
Not punished exactly, but definitely shamed sometimes
Yes depending on the caretaker I was punished, ridiculed or ignored when I cried. (Maybe ignoring is also a form of punishment?)
Yes. And for being emotional otherwise too. Was also bullied a lot in school and learnt fast to not cry then either or it got so much worse. Can’t say I have cried much as an adult as a result, or it might be because I am audhd.
I do believe this is one reason why neurospicy people like me get labelled as not showing emotion. The emotion is very much there, but it’s supressed.
