I am currently going through a lot of gender questioning, and I want to know how you all discovered your gender identities, or if you are still questioning yourself. I think that I am probably not cis, but as we all know, gender isn’t black and white. I’m identifying as non-binary right now, but I have had a lot of times throughout my life, including now, where I may have wanted to be more feminine, or even a woman. Especially after lurking on this site and looking at the trans megathreads, I find myself relating to a lot of what is being said. Overall, I recently feel like I have either hit a wall or just opened up a part of myself that I thought I had already solved, so I think that the experiences of others might help me figure myself out.
P.S. I don’t know if this is the appropriate comm, it made a little more sense than the trans comm, since it said it was more of a meme comm, and this is not a meme. Mods, please take it down if it’s the wrong comm; I’ll repost if I need to.
I essentially folded the moment my assertion in my “cis-ness” was challenged (got asked what pronouns I preferred for the first time, had a thought that “maybe they/them would be fun” come into my head, and went from there.) Over the years since having that first realization, my perception of my own gender has shifted and changed as I’ve tried different labels and pronouns, accepted some, and rejected others. Right now I’m in a pretty comfortable position with my gender (firmly trans, wanting androgenic HRT, not identifying with being transmasc/a trans man) but who knows, things are subject to change in the future as I gain new experiences and discover more about myself.
I think what helped me was gaining the realization that wanting to be whatever gender you want to be is all the proof you need. I used to be stuck in the idea that there is some “essence” of transness that I was missing, therefore I wasn’t trans. But there isn’t. You don’t need to experience dysphoria to be trans (though it’s pretty common for trans people to realize that they were, in fact, experiencing dysphoria and just didn’t know that’s what it was.) Cis people don’t find themselves wanting to be other genders. I know, it’s weird.
Good luck on your gender journey