I finally found a job so I am going to move out of my parents’ house soon, in order to live in the large city where the job is located with my gf. I should be happy about finally becoming independent and being able to see her every day, however I only feel dread about the transition, the lack of free time for my interests (probably intensified due to my shit executive functioning) and the fact that I will miss my family. How did you handle such a transition?

  • AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.mlOPEnglish
    3·
    7 months ago

    thing that’s worrying me is whether my relationship will weather the transition to cohabitation or not (especially given that we are probably both neurodivergent in different and often conflicting ways, for example I am hyperactive while she

    Thanks a ton, this must have taken a ton of time to write. We are definitely getting better at the parallel play thing (it’s me who took some time to get adjusted to not getting all the attention from my gf after the infatuation phase of the rel) so I don’t worry about that anymore. And we are communicating things that annoy us, hurt us etc so we will be OK on that front. I guess I am overthinking things as usual.

    Are you a therapist by any chance (if you don’t want to answer for opsec reasons it’s OK obviously)? Because your answers are more empathetic and helpful that the professionals I have been to. I think you would be really good at it

    • ReadFanon [any, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
      3·
      7 months ago

      Thanks, that’s very kind of you to say. I’m not qualified as a therapist nor in any sort of related profession like psychology.

      I have worked in paraprofessional roles that are either explicitly peer work or that I have kinda implicitly made into peer work roles because I’m going to bring myself to those roles and there’s not a damn thing that anyone can do about it lol. (I have worked in the youth/mental health/disability/community sectors in different capacities.)

      I think a lot of it is just having been through a lot of shit and having sought out ways to turn horrible personal experiences into something that makes a positive impact on the world in some small way; I’ve had more than my fair share of bad times, and for a lot of them I don’t really see me ever truly making sense of them or being at peace with them, but if I can draw upon that shit to make something good out of it then it helps to give purpose to what I’ve been through - and maybe that’s the best outcome I can reasonably expect.

      The other aspect is I’m some sort of weird nerdy autodidact creature that just pours themselves into subjects and absorbs information like a sponge, and I’d say that it’s mostly out of sheer luck that I ended up with the right combination of things that makes this work for me. I can usually hold my own when it comes to matters of psychology or social work or whatever, although I’m no expert.

      I think in the next year or two I’m either going to get back in the saddle with this stuff or otherwise I’m going to throw myself into party work/work that’s parallel to a party but I’m not quite at that point yet.