I sometimes get into these depressive episodes where I feel like the majority of the trans community is against me and wants me to suffer. As a non-binary person, I’ve had to deal with a heated amount of emphasis from trans people who hate my guts because they don’t perceive my identity as suiting a “norm” they believe I am required to fit.

I have gone through so much hell from cishet people, and one of the worst aspects of this is that it’s insanely isolating. Before horrendous encounters with transmedicalists, I generally had no doubt that the trans community would be pretty universally and even unconditionally on my side. Now, I feel like I’m alone. I feel like I have to avoid trans communities for my own safety and well-being, but I also cannot bring myself to be interacting with cis people because that clearly has done me no good either.

I also have fears about these things from a legal perspective. I am on HRT, I have terrible dysphoria, and I want to get on with my transition and my life, but especially since I live in Florida, I sometimes feel like transmedicalist rhetoric might seep into law in a way that will leave me with two options where either I can:

• A) Keep my HRT by shoving myself in a “box” that I don’t want to be in because it’ll leave me dysphoric and uncomfortable.

• B) Just go on without any medical transition, which will, yet again, make me miserable and have me see no point in life.

Both of them are horrendous. I already know that cis people want me dead. Knowing that trans people tend to feel the same way just does zero help for me.