Examples:
I help train fortune 500 tech companies’ AI algorithms.
I am Time Magazine’s Person of the year 2006.
Last time I filled one out I mentioned my DnD campaign I run
“I organize bi-weekly meetings with 5 people that last roughly 6 hours. I then direct people for these 6 hours through various problem solving activities that require teamwork.”
Not bad, but those are rookie numbers, you’ve got to pump them up!
- Performed Project Management with complete Work Breakdown Structure and delegation of roles and responsibilities
- Implemented regulatory compliance following applicable established v5 industry guidelines
- Executed regular data gathering as well as reconciliation with disparate records at established intervals
- Regularly dealt with influx of random data resulting in drastic situational changes requiring quick thinking, triage, and remediation of issues.
- Operated without production interruption even with frequent team member exit during critical phases of operation
- Resolved frequent conflicts between team members regarding the subject matter while maintaining neutrality and unity within the groups for continued execution
- Included audit functions as part of continuous improvement efforts
- Successfully completed multiple 6+ month engagements under these conditions
Very well written. I’d only change something about this paragraph:
- Operated without production interruption even with frequent team member exit during critical phases of operation
Sounds like people were quitting on you because of terrible work conditions you fostered. An alternative could be:
- Operated without production interruption even with occasional unexpected or planned team member absences during critical phases of operation
This is pure brilliance
This is so great!
Until you are asked to elaborate in the interview.
Scenario based creative problem solving involving abstract ideas and imaginative visualization?
NGL I got asked to elaborate
We went over on interview time by quite a bit because we talked quite a bit about organizing and ensuring that people were not only doing the roles they volunteered for but also having the opportunities to flex the skills they had in those roles.
Not to mention also having the chance to build their skill sets and branch out into new roles as they learned about what the other roles had to offer.
At the time I did that interview I technically had a play group of 15 people but we needed 5 for each session. So basically I’d pick a day for game day. We’d organize and plan the event recruiting players with various roles they had.
I ended up not taking the job because they changed which location I was going to be working at to being 45 minutes away (and in a state with income tax) from where I lived vs 5 minutes (in a state without income tax) from what I lived and also from 4 10s to 5 8s. Oh and the pay was going to be the same, so that was a deal breaker.
You pay state income tax based on your state of residence, not your employer’s.
That’s not true
If you work in a state you pay that state’s taxes regardless of where you live.
I’ve had the unfortunate benefit of working in one state and living in another now for about 10 years.
It looks like some localities try to double-dip in certain places, but that’s the exception, not the rule.
For example, I’ve been living in WA but working in CA, and have zero tax obligations to the state of California.
That’s quite the commute holy hell
I live in WA and work in OR. Oregon takes their taxes and in general I only get the transit tax back and sometimes a kicker if they take too much from everyone (like this year) and have a massive surplus.
Florida and Alabama double dip, but I forgot which direction.
Then it’s fucking awesome
I’ve been a major asset for Google, playing a pivotal role in the identification of bicycles, buses, and crosswalks.
As someone who has to review CVs/resumes at times, depending on the content of the overall CV, a couple jokes would get a chuckle out of me - assuming it is a strong CV otherwise.
If it’s a terrible CV, and then has jokes too, I would assume you’re wasting my time.
Its a high risk / reward strategy
edit - replying to the actual question
”I am in direct communication with multiple Nigerian princes”
On a cyber security CV that would be gold.
I also think this changes depending on the job you’re going for. There’s absolutely no reason I’d try to be funny or interesting on my entry-level order picker job. Assuming they even bother to look at my CV they’re mainly looking to see if I’ve got any work history.
If I’m applying for something creative, or maybe something that requires a bit of personality I’m sure it’d go over better… although even that is a double-edged sword.
Mentioned in another comment I work in software development, so seeing a bit of personality and creativity, done well, is always a plus in my book
Got any good stories of things that gave you a chuckle?
Not really, unfortunately. 99.9% of CVs are dry, samey samey documents. I guess the only mildly humorous parts come from actual interviews afterwards.
I work in software development, so all interviews are focused around that. We are also fully remote, so all interviews and work is over ms teams.
- Asking someone questions about a topic on their CV, and they haven’t actually got a clue. “So you mention XML on your CV. In XML, whats the difference between an element and an attribute?” - blank stare
- More than one person who were clearly googling while answering questions, and reading verbatim from the results
- More of a slightly unrelated rant - people who refuse to put cameras on. We are fully remote, we need to be able to see each others faces to communicate effectively. Its the way we work - I understand that might make people uncomfortable however its just something imo people need to get over. Especially in a first meeting, where you want to make the best impression to the interviewer.
I don’t do a lot of software development anymore. I had to look up attribute vs element. But it took all of 5 seconds to understand. Often I know how to use something even though I won’t know the names of the parts.
As for 3, I can understand for specific cases, like interviews. But most meetings I don’t feel comfortable inviting people into my home. That’s a fine line for me.
That was an older example, and not really a great question. But it did demonstrate they didn’t have a deep grasp of things on their CV
everything below is just my personal opinion
To be clear I don’t have a draconian “camera on or fuck you fired” approach. I mean this more as what I see as a reasonable expectation from someone fully working from home.
Ive heard the “inviting into your home” argument, but when its a fully remote job, it kinda comes with the territory and should be expected. I am lucky enough to have a separate room to work from, but I still also use a virtual background. I can’t recall anyone who doesn’t at least blur it out.
Fully remote work comes with the expectation of having a private working area, away from disturbances etc. Where its less like inviting someone into your home, and more like they are in your personal workspace.
As well, to be more specific. When I would personally have my camera on and a reasonable expectation others would, is in meetings / calls where the invitees are all expected to be participating, not meetings where you’re invited and sit there wasting time for an hour.
IMO, after working from home years, communication is noticeably and significantly clearer and more productive when we can see each other
Question, what if I don’t have a camera during an interview? I remember one time I had to set my phone up on a step ladder. I did get the job though. But the call quality was absolutely trash.
With the camera thing, if its like youve got a reason not to have one (broke that day, whatever). Not suggesting it is always a no, just because of it. If youre a strong candidate, then you have a strong chance. But when picking someone to offer to, people who had their camera on are naturally going to stick out more.
Day to day working its not a requirement to always have your camera on but some occasions will require it.
virtual backgrounds are good enough to hide everything else. Personally I have a flat black vbackground.
We don’t need to see each other’s faces to communicate effectively.
You can communicate without seeing each others faces, of course. You get a better connection, and better communication when you can see each other. Reading faces is a big part of how we communicate. Especially when I am training someone / pairing, seeing someones face let’s me know if they’re getting it or not.
Im talking from the perspective of my industry, and the work I do. Its just my experience. Im not stating proven facts or something. I am just explaining my perspective, thats all. Its not applicable for everyone - we are all different
I’m talking from the perspective of software development.
Ok, understood. From my perspective, its a better way to communicate. Im not saying its the only way. And faceless communication can also be productive
Sounds like they wouldnt have gotten the job in the “you are wasting my time” category anyway so nothing really lost there
Hey. I’m also Time Magazine’s person of the year 2006
Nice to meet you!
You’re not going to believe this…
We still have this issue in the bathroom
I got you both beat. I was twice the Time Person of the Year.
2003 and 2006.
I have a couple of fun projects/hobbies at the tail end of my CV. I work in the auto industry, so I mention my racing sim and 24 Hours of LeMons car, which almost always wind up taking up a large portion of the interview.
