WHERE TO GET THE BOOK: http://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=F6B31A8DAFD6BD39A5986833E66293E6

PRIOR THREADS:

So, it’s been a minute. Apologies. Life has been overwhelming me lately. School, work, more failed attempts at dating, etc. Please be patient, I have autism (probably) creature

I was also reading Devon Price’s new book, Unlearning Shame. Definitely recommend. He dismantles shame as a social construct of behavioral reinforcement and the undergirding of the lie that is rugged individualism, and prescribes the cure of building community and understanding social interconnectedness on a deep level. Made me re-examine just how much shame is woven into the fabric of the way I conduct myself and hoo boy it’s a lot. I blame my Catholic upbringing.

Anyway, I figured before I dive back into the next chapter it’d be nice to get caught up and see where everyone is at. Share your thoughts here, ask questions, get caught up. I want to make a new post next week but first I have to write an informative speech and then an essay about some story or another

Let’s cut down on the decision paralysis with some discussion questions:

  • What’s new with you, neurodiversity-wise, since the last thread?
  • Any points of contention, confusion, or questions from prior chapters?
  • Post any thoughts specific to the last chapters that you didn’t get to share before.

Tag post to follow.

  • un_mask_me [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    31·
    8 months ago

    I’m a little late…glad you’re back OP!

    I’ve been crazy busy…and pretty withdrawn. I’m just l trying to come to terms with being so heavily masked for my entire life. It’s like I’ve lost the ability to even try to pretend I’m normal since I picked up this book. It has made a lot of people close to me really uncomfortable, and that has made me want to isolate even more. The amount of alcohol and drugs I’ve been offered to “help” me get back to “normal” made me realize most of my friend group and family don’t seem to want to be around me if I’m sober and unmasked. So that’s been a pretty disruptive thought process that has really messed with my day-to-day interactions. I’ve told 2 people about being Autistic: one person was amazing about it, and the other just said “okay” and then changed the subject. I started to compare that one awesome friend with how I wish others would behave with me, like some sort of baseline for friendship, and I don’t know how to get away from that line of thinking. If that one person (who is also ND) can accept me, make space for me, and treat me with respect…why can’t everyone else who I let into my life?

    A couple of passages I keep coming back to:

    Behind each mask, there sits a deep pain, and a series of painful beliefs about who you are and what you must never allow yourself to do. Consequently, a big part of unmasking will mean facing those qualities you loathe the most in yourself, and working to see them as neutral, or even as strengths.

    Camouflage is all about obscuring one’s unique qualities and struggles as a disabled person; compensation is all about crafting little hacks and cheats to help you get your needs met because you can’t request the accommodations you require.

    Though masking is incredibly taxing and causes us a lot of existential turmoil, it’s rewarded and facilitated by neurotypical people. Masking makes Autistic people easier to “deal” with. It renders us compliant and quiet. It also traps us. Once you’ve proven yourself capable of suffering in silence, neurotypical people tend to expect you’ll be able to do it forever, no matter the cost. Being a well-behaved Autistic person puts us in a real double bind and forces many of us to keep masking for far longer (and far more pervasively) than we want to.

    Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh…I hope others are having an easier time of it. If you’re struggling have an internet hug from this weirdo <3