I am in the interview process for a job in a research group and it is going well so far. The only issue is that I was attracted to the person that interviewed me and I am going to be working with if I get hired.

My girlfriend is the most important person in the world for me so I don’t want to risk catching feelings for someone else, but I also need to find a job if I am to rent a place to finally live with her.

What would you do in my case? Would you stop the interview process and try to find a job elsewhere or would you go for it and trust that you would do the right thing?

This question might sound deranged to you, but I have the full autism/ADHD/OCD combo so I am very out of touch with how the average person thinks.

  • Idliketothinkimsmart@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    9 months ago

    Do you trust yourself to conduct yourself in an ethical manner if you did work there? If so, then I’d probably work there. If not then that is something you should probably consider. If it’s the former, do not hang out with this coworker and keep things strictly professional.

    • AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      Do you trust yourself to conduct yourself in an ethical manner if you did work there?

      I do not. Not because I have actually done something bad, but I probably am a bit more impulsive than the average person due to ADHD, and I also have the anxious attatchment style in the context of the relationship, so I don’t want to be in a situation where I could act out or something. Also I believe in avoiding temptation in contrast to resisting temptation, so it makes sense to me. Of course you can’t always avoid having to interact with an attractive person, but it seems to me like it’s another thing when you go into such a situation knowingly.

      • M500
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        9 months ago

        I think if you are having issues around self control and cheating, then maybe your girlfriend isn’t the one for you. Maybe it’s a sign that there is someone else for you.

        • AdmiralDoohickey@lemmygrad.mlOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          9 months ago

          think if you are having issues around self control and cheating, then maybe your girlfriend isn’t the one for you. Maybe it’s a sign that there is someone else

          I never said I have cheated or even come close to. I have self control issues in other areas such as binge eating when stressed but that’s it