As MTF,
Im learning to lost all my masc advantages (mainly social), but in the meantime, not being nor woman or manSometimes im seeing myself as a mirage (Non binary, MTF)
But Blahaj exist 🥰
That’s a spicy comic there :D I like it :3
deleted by creator
After consistently passing as a man, I noticed that women that I meet are much more guarded around me than before. I definitely have to make more of an effort to appear “safe” to strangers.
Another thing is that I can get away with previous behaviors more without as much social repercussion. Due to being neurodivergent, I’ve always been socially unaware of things, never really tried to be polite or say all of the socially acceptable niceties as often as expected. People used to perceive me as “rude” or a “removed” and now I’m just “blunt” and “get to the point.” When I’m not in a talkative mood I used to be “cold” and now I’m just “preoccupied.”
Facial hair greatly “softens” or disguises a lot of one’s face. I found it greatly helped me be more approachable, which was great at the time when I had to train up new hires as they would actually ask questions
Not an option for everyone sadly, and YMMV depending on the structure of your face (I am blessed/cursed by a somewhat chubby face and relentless hair growth)
So far. I either get quick glances and a 😮 face but nothing more, OR a really pleasant and gentle interaction.
I’m waiting for more negative encounters as I continue transitioning, but I’ve noticed that interactions with women feel a lot more natural than before (as long as they’re supportive)
Almost as if I’m being “welcomed to the team” in a sense. I feel a bond that I have always felt was missing…
Plus most cishet men ignore my presence now. Which is SOOOOO much better than when I was masc presenting and they would try to joke about how much they hated their wife or something.
The most awkward interactions of my life “mysteriously” vanished! Thanks transphobia! /s
Because I am largely not passing at the moment, but am obviously transfem, the gap between the way some people treat me seems to have broadened. When I meet a stranger, they will either be extra nice to me, or immediately rude and standoffish. There is much less of an in between lol
With my friends, I have noticed some extra kindness, but I figure that is because they recognize that I am in a vulnerable time of my life and they want to help me along the journey. I have received* a good few makeup and clothing gifts, been p neat in that regard
deleted by creator
That is very kind haha. In all fairness, this is the best of like 20 pictures, but I get what you mean. I should probably be less critical of myself in that regard. Thank you!
deleted by creator
I’ve noticed that people who have any reaction to me are either oddly nice (which absolutely baffles me because I have no idea how to interact with humans generally 😵💫 😅 ) or just straight-up hate me. Like, someone compliments my dress, another person just walks up and starts touching me, and then some guy starts looking me up and down with a grossed-out look like some leavings from the local zoo had just stood up and gone shopping. Fortunately, I have the human awareness(/careness maybe) of any other kittycat so I rarely notice the glares 😅
Same! It is so weird how people just have stronger reactions to us in general, some good and some bad. I definitely relate to recieving that disgusted glare, glad it isn’t getting you down! ☺️
One thing I found funny was at work I would make a suggestion on how something should be done, pre transition, coworkers would listen and take my advice into consideration. After transition they were a lot less receptive to the exact same advice. I definitely had that oh shit moment to myself thinking, oh, ok this is what women are talking about.
I definitely notice the same thing socially, but the opposite for me. Seems like people take me more seriously than they used to.
I know I get overtalked a lot more now…
I’m enby and I’ve been on HRT for just over 7 months, but I’m keeping a lot of my masc presentation (such as my villainous moustache~) just with a touch of femme in my nail polish, eyeliner, and pixie-cut hair.
Still, there’s definitely been a change in how I’m percieved. In addition to the casual indifference of passers-by, I’m starting to get vaguely confused or perplexed glances. This has been wonderful, and I can’t wait to start getting “they”'d by well-meaning folks too busy to ask my pronouns first. =D
Definitely can relate to the perplexed glances and general confusion from other people. When I was in the “in-between” stage of my transition, people would stare at me often. Whenever I met someone, I could always tell that “calculating…must find gender” from people looking me up and down.
People are super kind to me. Making friends has become super easy. Why didn’t I do this earlier??
How individual people react varies widely, and is largely unique to each person, which shows me that it’s really nothing more than a psychological construct.
Some people walk up to me to give me words of support. I just had that last Thursday in the grocery store.
Someone even deadnamed me out of nowhere during a disagreement. It’s honestly entertaining to see how low this guy can go. So far I’ve made sure to rub any spare happiness that I have in his face. Maybe he’ll manage to grow up one day.
Oh ya and like someone else mentioned, you have the ‘SIR’ people. Well I always take that with a smile but one of these days I won’t be able to hold back and I’ll be left with no choice but to return the favor.
Then there’s the unsolicited admirers. Well one wasn’t entirely unsolicited because his little head kept peeking around the wall between our opera boxes. I’ll never forget how silly that looked.
The “Sir” people are definitely my biggest pet peeve at the moment.
It’s understandable, because I’m an enby with a villainously curled moustache, but I see that as an androgynous characteristic. Spending time every morning putting my face on is not a traditionally masculine habit. XD
I rather enjoy the compliments I get for it, just not the honorifics.
I think enbies have it harder
In some ways, yeah.
Growing up in Texas in the 90’s didn’t provide a lot of role models for gender diversity. I didn’t meet an openly trans person 'til college. >_<
Same experience here. I remember this guy sitting next to me once, he was wearing makeup and a dress. Looking back I presume they are enby.
It’s such a powerful experience, right? You never forget it.
For sure. A friend of mine in college came out to me as transmasc and that was the last little push I needed to be more open about myself. 😄
I am no longer able to tell if people are being friendly or not. I am not sure what it is or why.
When I presented male I for the most part just expected a general level of friendliness and I was mostly calm in interactions with strangers. I didn’t really have a constant fear or paranoia associated with interaction.
Now presenting as a trans woman I feel im like hypervigilant and fundamentally can not parse if people are being friendly or hostile towards me. People are like a shifting cypher of mystery where I am constantly over analyzing what people are saying or doing. NGL it might be a trauma response not sure.
I get a lot more glares from tomato red old men and women, and the occasional guy not-so-subtly checking me out. Sometimes a jackass will go out of their way to “sir” me because they think its funny. In general though, most everyone else is kind and accepting, and I feel like people are less guarded around me.
One thing I did notice when I was a little earlier in my transition was a feeling that even supposed allies don’t want to see you in the “in between” stage of transitioning. They want to either see you before you’ve started transitioning, or when you’re at the point you at least sort of pass. I isolated myself for years because of that vibe, and I regret it.
Reading the comments and I’m really glad it’s not just me who’s experiencing the fact that my interactions with people either seem to now be really lovely or hateful. Fortunately, even in the UK, it seems most people are supportive which brings me great euphoria Even with the negative encounters it’s not been uncommon for a supportive stranger to come to my aid.
One interesting thing I’ve noticed is the gender ratio of my closest friends has over time shifted from mostly cishet guys to mostly women and enbies.
Transfem enby:
Definitely notice some of the men I’d hung around as friends started being more dismissive of me when interacting as though they clearly thought less of me. Not sure the ratio of typical misogyny to transphobia.
The weird one was actually noticing coworkers starting to express some protective, almost herding like behavior. Was simultaneously endearing to recognize they still see me as part of the group but also incredibly patronizing.
