I turn 22 this year. I want a job. I have never applied for a job. I know that it does not matter if I embarrass myself in front of an interviewer or if I quit in the first week or get fired. I am still afraid. I wish I could get paid to roll around in mud and have tomatoes thrown at me. This would probably feel less shameful.
one unpleasant consequence of our neoliberal hellscape is how everyone is forced to be their own marketer for their labor power. it may help to think of interviews and applications as games or skills that you need to learn and practice like anything else, because they are. but it’s an awful and degrading process and there aren’t many good ways around that besides nepotism. seems like you’re entering into it with the right mindset, though. good luck!