I have almost no friends, and I don’t get much out of the friends I have. We don’t share many of the same hobbies and we all live pretty far apart. Some are also pretty right wing, and me being a closeted trans woman, makes me fear that I will lose them if I come out.
I want to go to meetings of my party (or protests where my party is present) so I can build connections with people who I share the same worldview with but have only been able to go a couple of times and most of the time when there’s a meeting or protest I am busy with something else.
When it comes to going out, it sucks going to concerts on your own, because no one else around you wants to go. I do have one friend with whom I go to concerts sometimes, but that’s when he asks me to join him. When it comes to my concerts, it’s musicians he doesn’t like. I could ask my parents or my brother but they also don’t always like the musicians I like. I just want to a have a steady group of friends so there’s always someone available to do fun stuff with together, whether that be going to a concert, clubbing, sport events, etc. If one friend can’t go or doesn’t want to, I can always ask another friend. I don’t have that privilege right now.
At least I am now able to go out alone, in the past I would’ve just stayed at home, but having to go out alone still hurts. And in some cases I still don’t want to go out alone. I don’t want to go to a bar alone for example.
And it’s not like I want a best friend, all I want is some extra friends. This situation right now is making me feel more alone and it’s hard to stay positive.
I fully relate to what you’re going through, a lot of us have or had the same experience in life, it indeed hurts and takes its toll on you overtime, as humans are a natrually social species and want to be with others in some form so, too much alone time can start taking its toll on one’s mental health. That being said: unfortunately there are circumstances where you have absolutely no choice but to be alone against you’re will, and those circumstances are horrible but, you have to be ready for it in the worst case scenario.
In our current era, it’s becoming near impossible for a lot of people around the world to find anyone that geniunely wants to be their friend for the long term, for many, many reasons, some being systematic, some being social, some being a mixture of the two, it varies from place to place. But in the case you’re in a horribly isolated environment for one reason or another and cannot find a single person to bond with or share similar ideas/hobbies with, all you have to socialise in in this circumstance is the internet sadly, it’s either that or complete isolation for the foreseeable future. I know it’s not ideal, but unfortunately you’re sometimes dealt with an extremely bad hand in life, and in those situations: we make due with whatever we’re given. At least you have some form of chance at finding somebody on the internet, and who knows, you might be lucky enough to have them be nearby or willing to visit you once you’ve bonded with them, it’s a lot more likely to find geniune friends this way given you’re (and a lot of others’) circumstances, so don’t lose hope, but be prepared to be waiting a very long while for that to happen. I’m sorry if it’s not much comrade, I wish you good luck to come in life, and in the meantime, you have us as a community to be here for you.