It’s open source software. You could even then remove the slur filter manually trivially, and with a small amount of technical skill, make that persist across updates.

We are talking about developping open source software. To be clear, you’re saying you disagree with using copyleft software written by people whose politics you disagree with.

Hexbear ran (runs?) on Hetzner, I don’t recall them ever having an issue.

As far as the client issues, I wholeheartedly agree. That said, it is possible to use Discord via Pidgin, which gets rid of the bulkyness and of some of the privacy issues.