I don’t wanna work today, I just wanna have a four hour coffee break and talk shit

Yeah weed can get really scary if you fuck around too much and aren’t prepared for it. I had way too many edibles one time (a good old “these edibles ain’t shit” moment), and it was pretty traumatic. I wasn’t sure I was back in my own reality for a few days after. Honestly kind of funny in hindsight now that I’m more comfortable with wacky states of mind, but very scary in the moment.

jesus christ it was right in front of us this entire time

Yeah, it’s was a thing in finland as well. idk what duraseal is, but I assume it’s that self-adhesive plastic wrap stuff (we called it contact plastic or something?). We could only use transparent wrap though, no fun allowed. Still, it was an important ritual I remember. New school year, 15 new books, let’s fucking go!! I was always really bad at it though, so my books would have creased wraps with tons of air bubbles. I thought it was really satisfying, so I’d (poorly) go home wrap my own books just for fun as well.

I went to the Lenin museum in Tampere. They’re gonna close it in a couple of months because of anti-russian brainworms (extremely common finland L), so I had to check it out before then. It is supposedly the place where Lenin and Stalin first officially met.

It was a bit underwhelming tbh? Doesn’t contain anything a level 99 communist like myself wouldn’t already know, but I can’t exactly fault them for that. What I can and will fault them for though is the completely unnecessary additions of “Lenin and Stalin and USSR bad, btw” that they just had to insert into every exhibit that dared to be the tiniest bit positive about them. There was also nothing about WHY Lenin was as revolutionary as he was, more like “he just kind of was revolutionary and decided to do that”. Almost nothing about the terrors of the Whites in the civil war. An exhibit showing how socialism == no food. An entire wall dedicated to Yeltsin, Putin and Ukraine?? The worst part was when the guide presented a bigass painting of Lenin Proclaiming Soviet Power, and said “in this propaganda piece we can see that Lenin is painted as very tall and imposing, as if he is above the common folks below, whereas in real life he was actually a rather short man ”. I left a feedback form pointing this out, for whatever that’s worth now since they’re closing it down.

Overall it wasn’t completely horrible I guess. Not as explicitly negative as I expected from this bullshit hell-country, but still disappointing. I get the vibes that they wanted the museum to be more positive of Lenin, but due to the “geopolitical climate” someone higher up told them to tone it down.

They have it for live streamed video chats as well. It does it meagre best to summarize what chat is popping off about at the moment. I don’t fucking get it, you can just read the chat? It’s right there? Who asked for this?

I’m on a project where we original had three devs, but two of them did exactly what is depicted in this image, so now there’s only me. There’s a proper god damn mountain of tech debt that keeps growing. At this point it’d take me probably a solid couple of months to sort it out, but of course the customer doesn’t want to pay for anything, because “what’s the problem, it’s still running”. All I can really do is glance at it every now and then, like that gif with richard ayoade and the fire from IT crowd. It’s a pretty big and widely used system too, so it’s gonna be a real biblical clusterfuck when it finally shits the bed.

Yeah, I’ve always been lazy too. Never did my homework, rarely could be bothered to do my chores, one million unfinished projects and unrealized ideas, couldn’t hold down a job for long, etc. I was completely convinced I’m just a lazy, useless, unmotivated sack of dookie, until one day, when a psychiatrist introduced me to the concept of “executive dysfunction”, something I’d never heard of before. One ADHD diagnosis and years of therapy later I am in a pretty decent spot. The most important thing is that I have become much better at being kind to myself. I was never truly lazy, I’d just spent most of my life trying to fit my square-peg self into a round-hole society and become too hopelessly burned out by trying to fulfill the round-hole expectations to do pretty much anything, ever. You mentioned your dad has ADHD, and it is apparently hereditary as fuck, so I think you should at least look into it. My mom and most of her siblings have it, some of my cousins have it, and my brother has it as well.

When I start feeling bad about being lazy, I like to think about it like there’s good lazy and bad lazy. Like, my cats are good lazy. They don’t do shit. They just fuckin lay around all day and they seem to love it. In fact, I think most animals would just fuckin lay around all day if they had the opportunity. Fuckin laying around all day seems to be the peak of existence in nature. If I’m feeling bad about getting to experience the sheer bliss of fuckin laying around all day, then it’s likely I’m not being good lazy, but rather bad lazy. Bad lazy is in fact not laziness at all, but executive dysfunction in a laziness disguise.

A big thing for me was learning that I never accepted “being tired” (mentally or physically) as a valid excuse to rest, so I’d spiral into bad laziness because I was too tired to do the thing, but couldn’t rest until I’d done the thing, so I’d try to somehow escape from the impossible contradiction by scrolling instagram reels or whatever until I either forced myself to doing the thing and hating it, or gave up on doing the thing and hating myself for being bad lazy and wasting so much time. It turns out that I can, in fact, just say “I am simply too tired right now, I will do it later”. No use trying to fit my square-peg ass into a round-hole expectation, I’ll just burn myself out again. I’ll make square holes. I can just eat a snack now and make dinner at 10PM instead. People won’t die if I don’t fold the laundry today. The shop is still open for hours, there’s no rush. Yes, honey, I know I said I’ll deal with it after work, but I need a couple of hours to rest. It doesn’t make the things any easier to do per se, but just knowing that it’s okay to be tired and that I’m “allowed” to take some time to rest takes a lot of the pressure off. I’m still learning this shit, and it’s ironically a chore in itself to remind myself to let myself rest and be good lazy when I need it.

You’re not irredeemably dysfunctional! There’s probably square holes for you as well.

for real, jesus christ. does “I can’t afford it” mean something else for other people??? I remember I had an acquaintance back when who just didn’t seem to get the concept of not affording something.

“come to the thing!” sorry I’m broke, I can’t afford it. “yeah okay but you could still come” bro what I literally have seventeen cents to my name “oof yeah I get it, but you could come though?” What, just fucking smooth-talk my way in without a ticket? “no man the tickets are cheap, come on, it’ll be fun”

They weren’t even out-of-touch-levels of rich or even all that well off. I never understood, and I never thought to ask them what they think “can’t afford” means. Wild.

skill issue

Another week where a week happens. The N/T ratio is appearing to be a pretty accurate metric.

I am officially moving to my own home this week!! Landlord can officially suck it!!! I’m not paying off your home loan anymore (I’ll be paying off my own instead)!!! Fuck yeah!!! I can drill holes in the wall whenever the god damn I want!!!

God damn Sacrifice, it was an RTS-esque third-person wizard game from 2000 or so. I remember the story and voice acting being quite good, and everything in that game being extremely weird looking. You could pick your god (thunder, fire, stone, life, and death IIRC) and they all had different spells and minions. You needed souls to summon minions, and you could get more souls by battling the other wizards’ minions and stealing their souls, by having some strange dudes with giant syringes take the souls and perform a ritual at one of your altars. The highest level spells were fucking awesome too, if you played as a fire wizard you could summon a giant god damn volcano on the battlefield. The goal was to sacrifice one of your minions at an enemy wizards main altar, and banish them from the realm (i.e. eliminate them from the game).

And holy fuck I’ve also just been informed that this game is available on Steam, brb

Hell yeah! Huge congratulations to mr largepenis.

That right there is Ruben

Animal Well! There’s some incredibly obscure and esoteric puzzles in that game. Many of them are completely optional, but they’re so intriguing that I wanted to figure everything out anyway. I don’t think I’m anywhere near “done” yet, even though I beat the last boss already. You can unlock the ability draw on the map as well, so you can keep track of things.

Also maybe Noita? Completing a run and beating the last boss is basically just the tutorial, that game goes deep. There is an in-game achievement tracker for completing some unbelievably convoluted puzzles and challenges.

Relieved to learn I’m not the only one with this problem. I was a split second away from posting a spicy-ass Slammer meme in a company-wide slack channel the other day. I even turned off the middle click paste thing on my Good Computer, but I can’t remember how I did it and I’ve never been bothered to do it on my work laptop (Bad Computer). Imagine, I could save myself from quite a lot of occasional stress if I took the two minutes to solve this problem, but I’m still probably not going to do it. The mind works in mysterious ways!!!

It’s decently fun still, but the average player has gotten so good at the game at this point that it’s mostly just frustrating. Feels like you gotta spend like 8 hours a day on the grind to compete at all.

Holy shit that looks like a sick setup!! Probably costs as much as a house though. Maybe I should sell my house and build a dope modular giga synth?

Yeah dude