Also I just ate a whole bunch more of the cookies cuz I can’t just throw cookies in the garbage, that would be insane. So here’s to more green poo tomorrow

I’m pretty sure that’s beaver canon 🤔

Kamala Harris lost the election

Too much green food coloring in the cookies I ate nearly gave me a heart attack on the shitter. Hello, hope you’re all having a good day/night.

Dave the Diver is stressing me out because they keep sending me on wacky missions with ancient artifacts and bombs and shit but every time I go diving in just wanna catch tasty fish so I can have a nice restaurant 😤

Mega “thread”? Just call it a rope ffs

You’re (slowly) leaking oil and it’s burning off. Keep an eye on your oil levels at the bare minimum.

I won’t bother linking the article, but it was darkly amusing to see, literally the morning after Harris’s loss, the NYTimes put out an article about how, actually, inflation was a pretty big problem after all, and maybe the administration could’ve done more to assuage people’s frustration about price increases.

OOOOOPS

When you beat the check engine light allegations

The removed hour. It’s like the witching hour, but it’s whatever hour you have to get up to go to work.

I still remember his son or one of his staffers or something on the radio being asked if they wanted African American people to have health care, and their answer was “I want them to be able to afford their own healthcare.”

The lie that keeps on working, every fucking time.

Fuckin A+, holy shit

If you can’t distinguish yourself from your opponent other than saying “he’s rude, I’m not,” well it turns out there are a lot of fed up, vindictive people in this country who would prefer rude.

Welcome to the resistance

Democrats nutting uncontrollably at the opportunity to once again be the party of failure.

After all, it’s a lot easier to do your empty identity politics and false promises when you don’t have the power to do anything else.

They make Bluetooth keyboards that work with phones. I used to have a slick little one that folded up to the size of a cigarette case.

tURNS OUT YOPU CAN TYPE REALLY FAST IF YOU DONT CORRECRT ANTHYRTHING

Had spare time so I stopped at a coffee shop walking to my job. Overpriced chain, ostensibly better than Starbucks but if you remove the aesthetic it’s indistinguishable; a brigade of coffee servants standing shoulder to shoulder, all dressed in mandatory twee outfits and aprons, hands rapidly working the syrups, cups, jugs, and spoons at their disposal with the frenetic efficiency of a factory assembly line. The devilish little receipt printer is blurping out online orders faster than they can make them, so the tickets are spread out over the entire counter, each with an empty cup on top waiting to be filled. The tiny shop, a subdivided subdivided subdivided piece of prime urban center real estate, is crowded elbow to elbow with suits and business casuals, all staring at their phones and not noticing when the workers call their names because they didn’t take out their air pods. I watch the nonstop production for ten minutes, getting annoyed at the wait and then chastising myself because they’re all working very fast and it really looks like it sucks to work here. Finally my coffee is ready and I try to convey gratitude as I scoop it up and head to the park across the street. I listen to traffic and construction noises as I sip my incredibly middling coffee, and I feel like an asshole for even going in there, but there aren’t really any better options around here anyways. I regret everything. Then I see a puffy little bird and it cheers me up and I think about keeping some seeds in my backpack. Time to go to work.

Tidying up your house before your crush comes over, call that Sprung Cleaning.

John McCain Spaghetti Head is a great band name