you can pry my chapo chat profile pic from my cold dead hands!!!

No sorry can’t happen me and my wife swing but we aren’t poly so methinks u should keep your distance…. >:(

this shit so ass fr

first sober night in this new attempt at a break and uuuuuuh is it possible i was using alcohol to anesthetize my loneliness and my fear of the grinding passage of time and my fear of dying prematurely and my fear of dying in a moment of alienation and alonenness, unconnected to something bigger than myself and also my fear that the feeling that This Isn’t Enough will never go away until the day i die and that i’ll never have a purpose and my fear of my slowly but surely dimming sense of wonder and awe and beauty in the face of the world and my fear of

FINALLY FINISHED 2666 AFTER STARTING EARLY SPRING 2023

have half of The Road to go…and then Moby Dick and Wretched of the Earth on the to-do list (trying to eat a little theory vegetables as part of the diet)

the trick to sensing bad vibes/humanborn eldritch horrors is just to have really bad anxiety so you basically sense/see them everywhere. in fact, “anxiety issues” is the language of the oppressor. i call it The Sight.

tbf unless you actually spend time in the zionist entity (god forbid) it’s hard to know what kinds of psychospheric disruptions there might be. maybe shared, recurring nightmares are on the rise? stomach flu symptoms despite nothing being measurably, physically wrong? mass cases of temporary face blindness, mysterious lost time/blackouts despite no previous history of mental illness or neurological disorder?

(i don’t believe in that stuff either but it’s fun to pretend)

i cook for a living

i think you’ve identified a big part of why right here comrade.

yeah when i was more “purely drowning my demons” i had really bad quantity control solo, i’ve recently gotten a better handle on it on average (which is a small win i suppose). honestly being more social might be part of why? like instead of drinking to numb the pain in my heart, i moreso grab a few on the way home from Doing Shit With People to kinda cap off the night/reward myself. which i guess is a healthier reason to solo drink than my previous patterns, though still way too frequent and impacting me negatively in other ways.

legit so much harder than bourgeoisie ppl be meming on spelling the wrong word

ask her which stat she relates to the most (if it’s you’ve got a winner)

lmao don’t enable me!! i’m actually better about quantity control when im solo

okay forreal a somewhat extended solo drinking break starts today, forreal actually forreal this time!! accepting tips and tricks from any fellow problem-drinkers-to-alcoholics-trying-to-improve, sound off!! (don’t suggest tea though i really kinda just don’t like tea at all)

I stumbled into a serious monogamous relationship in my early 20s (late 30s now)

this was me too, but year and a half ago it became clear it wasn’t meant to be anymore (i’m early-mid 30s). i’ve become More Okay with being single now that i’ve been finding other sources of community though, and i think just being In The World as a cool likable dude amongst likeminded people, eventually the numbers will work out. still, the evenings alone without that type of love to hold onto do hit, even though i’m finding other kinds of human bonds…

it is a blessed condition, believe me

jk im staying living dont worry my lovely comrades soylent shipotsts will live for a thousand years just wanted to death grips post