Holy shit, that whole sub… that’s just sad.

I did a bit of research on Judaism to reconcile with zionism/anti-semitism and all that, and I saw how different it is from zionism, and that zionism is actually more anti-semitic than being anti-zionist etc.

But imagine if you knew nothing about it, and then went on r/Jewish. You would be getting the WRONG impression for sure.

Wow the detail is incredible. I found myself zooming in and looking at everything.

Yeah I actually enjoy hugs but I’m just awkward about it, like idk when it’s appropriate, and I’m too nervous to initiate it, etc etc.

Sometimes I get so mad that it’s been so long, and my family has been like this possibly for generations and generations, and only NOW are they just figuring us out. For so long, nobody fucking gave a shit, nobody fucking bothered to even understand us. Just locked us up, lobotomized us, shamed us for being different, and left us to go homeless and die. And only NOW do they realize: “Wow, it looks like they’re actual people with feelings!” Fuck everything. Monstrous society.

We have a monstrous evil government that literally steals babies.

I used to believe in all 4 of those things. It is painful when the illusion is shattered, so many avoid it.

At most, I can gently suggest that we’re actually the bad guys, not the good guys, and people are starting to agree with me.

What is this from?

A 14 year old already being watched by the FBI? Wtf

There’s a looooot of Trump flags where I live, which makes me feel as though support is high. But I have no idea really.

I can’t stand people who complain about other people’s lawns. Especially knowing how pointless and wasteful they are. All it amounts to is that you’ve sinned against their suburbanite cult by not following their sacred ritual of “maintaining the property”. The not socializing thing, too. My family is neurodivergent and we’ve always had problems with neighbors acting snotty towards us because we’re “weird”. Now that I think of it, having a manicured lawn so people don’t get mad at you is a type of masking lol.

It is depressing when their devotion to the cult of normalcy causes them to celebrate the eviction of a less than perfect tenant. Such heartlessness.

Nothing about society made sense, people were always doing things contrary to what they professed to believe or hold dear. Fast forward thirty years, I start learning about the contradictions of capitalism, and slowly things started to click. I could finally start processing why nothing made sense to me as a child. The system can’t make sense! That was so freeing, to realize that, and that there are alternatives.

Literally same!!! And the capitalist realism caused me so much despair too.

Left: “I have read history and note the parallels between past fascism and current events. People like me are being specifically called out and threatened for genocide just like they did back then. I must defend myself and our community now.”

Right: “You know, like, the old America times? THey had a 3% and that did a revolution I think. We should do that when the Chinese infiltrating spies try to make the government too big. It’s too big and that’s bad. I’m gonna teach this little girl to do a white power sign. You want some pickles?”

This will play in my head now whenever I go outside

I think I might. I excelled in school and yet my math grades were always around a C. I have a hard time keeping numbers in my head, they just disappear unless i focus really really hard to keep them there. I can remember many frustrated tears shed trying to do math homework, or being the last one still working on the math test. And yeah basically I need a calculator unless I really put a lot of effort to keep the numbers in my head, but at that point it feels like you’re really straining a muscle so to speak. When I’m knitting, I sometimes have to count my stitches over and over because I forgot the number halfway through counting.

It’s odd because at the same time, I’m really good at logic. I got a degree in computer science (but ended up being too autistic to get a job). I always got great grades for my programming work. I can remember taking a physics course and most of the time the math was just rearranging equations, where you’re just dealing with the logic of switching the symbols around like m, t, d, etc, and plugging the numbers into the calculator. I was great at that, and even enjoyed it sometimes. But the damn numbers, man. If our physics teacher didn’t let us use calculators I would have failed. So in my brain at least, it seems that arithmetic and logic are two separate things.

Same

amber whataboutism volcel police

Wow I was unaware of that day. I don’t know very much about the religion. Thanks for the article, the pilgrimage sounds pretty cool.

the Arba’in pilgrimage was banned by the Iraqi president Saddam Hussein (r. 1979–2003)

Wow up until getting to that point I was reading about the significance of the tradition and it sounded so cool and then apparently he did that. That was like such whiplash. I was like wait he did what?? No wonder they didn’t like him, damn.

In fact, I think I’m going through the despair part at the moment.

It really had to happen for me at that point because

In marxist terminology, I could no longer tolerate the contradictions of liberalism in my mind.

I relate to a lot of this, and I do wonder if it’s an autism thing. Because like, I see a lot of lefties complain about libs as if they know they’re thinly veiled fascists and are just pretending/virtue signaling etc, and they’re always linking roderic day’s thing about propaganda. But my experience was just nothing like that. It’s like… no, I literally just did not know lol. I always had good egalitarian-like values, and I was fed so much bullshit that I was just naively a liberal. I was a radlib for sooooo long because of all the other western ‘leftists’ being stuck in electoralism, defeatism, ‘human-nature’-ism etc. The final thing that pushed me here was:

Wait, you mean communism ISN’T when no food?

Wait, you mean communism actually DID work and wasn’t just a 1984 animal farm dictatorship ???

Wait, you mean it wasn’t us libbies on the “right side of history”, it was always the socialists, and basically every good historical ‘great man’ idol that we look up to (MLK, helen keller, einstein etc) was a socialist too??

THE COMMIES WERE RIGHT THIS WHOLE FREAKIN TIME???

Because my entire life I’ve been taught commie = evil, like, they’re just The Bad Guys. It’s drilled into your head. And then when you come up with something like “hey why don’t we provide for everybody and make things fair?” it’s always: “Nah, that doesn’t work, it’s been tried, and human beings are just too selfish to make it work.”

And that had younger me like "Oh, okay… :( "

And our entire culture, media, news, history education etc is SUCH A FUCK that it took THIS LONG for me to finally get some real facts and be like wtf are you kidding me?!?!? The “villains” were right this whole time?!?!

Maybe it is like an autistic myopia for us. Maybe most people aren’t like this…? I know it’s more accurate that people’s ideology follows their material interests, and for most of us westoids, our material interests are the empire staying an empire. And you could say that because I’m disabled, that means my material interests 100% align with the abolition of capitalism, therefore here I am. But there’s definitely an element of like, bruh I did not KNOW. I wish somebody had told me sooner. But it’s a wasteland out here in the west. I ultimately had to figure it out for myself.

And I’m glad I did, because unknowingly being a “communist waiting for permission to be one” is depressing as HELL man. I saw the BS of electoralism, reforms obviously were not working, I knew the necessity of revolution but I could NOT believe that it was ever possible, like the belief that humans are selfish and it just never works was so ingrained. So I literally felt like there was no hope. Absolutely nothing. We’re just fucked and this is it and we’re powerless to do anything about it. Total capitalist realism. The bleakest view of reality. Did you also go through this phase of utter despair like I did?