Ex-egg. Turns out wishing you were a girl does work.

  • 15 Posts
  • 76 Comments
Joined 2 months ago
cake
Cake day: July 2nd, 2024

help-circle
  • Oh hai ~ the weekly thread is back, yay!

    Things are pretty good here. Weight is slowly dropping off, which is a relief (still lots to go); I’m two weeks into DIY, and stuff seems to be happening. It’s quite hard to be objective though. At least I have a backup plan in case the doctor is uncooperative.

    Because of all the waiting I’m a bit worried about losing momentum, especially when the self-doubt creeps in. Well, screw that voice - I’m gonna be a woman anyway :3

    Oh, and I bought some clothes in preparation for the cooler weather. The sleeves are all too short, so I’m (re-)learning to sew. Take that, fashion industry!










  • I guess I’ve been having thoughts of “if I was a girl…” or “if I was trans…” for as long as I can remember. Definitely had a few times of “please let me wake up as a girl tomorrow” when I was 12/13 or so, but I got quite good a suppressing that. The “if…” thoughts were fine, of course, since I clearly wasn’t trans or a girl…

    Fast forward to about six weeks before my 40th birthday; following quite a few trans women online and starting to question my gender. But since I’m perfectly happy being cis, that’s fine, no problem. I’ll be an Ally.

    Two weeks or so pass, start looking at egg_irl. A day or two later, everything comes crashing down and it’s panic time. That lasts a few days and now I know: I’m a trans girl, and I want to transition. Came out to my family, started growing my hair, painting my nails, buying neutral-to-fem clothes etc. Stopped wearing obviously masc-coded stuff pretty much right away (even when going out). Made appointments for laser and HRT consultation.

    About six weeks later, research indicates the doctor is probably going to make me wait 6 months to a year for HRT, so I order DIY. That arrives two weeks later (yesterday), and here we are.

    Not using new pronouns or name yet, but I feel that might happen fairly soon.






  • Waiting…

    … for my hair to get long enough for even a short feminine cut. I don’t really feel like wearing a wig, but I guess I might try a cute headscarf.

    … to lose weight. I’m going about as fast as I safely can, and it’s noticeable, but there’s still a lot to go.

    … for hair removal. Seeing the effects already, but gotta wait at least a month between appointments.

    … for hormones. First appointment in six weeks or so. At least there’s DIY as a fallback.

    But! I’m out to my family, and my immediate coworkers (I work from home anyway). So I can wear what I want, practice my voice and makeup, and things are good. I don’t wear anything more boyish than women’s jeans and a semi-fitted T-shirt (OK, fairly neutral), and I guess I’ll just tell anyone who asks. Just wish I could see in the mirror how I feel.



  • Had a nice long chat with the wife. Basically explaining the story so far, all those obvious-in-hindsight things. Talked about how I want to start HRT, and what that will entail. She’s cool with it becoming a same-sex marriage, and went as far as to say “I know you’re not the type to fool around, but if you decide you like men instead, that’s OK with me”.

    Since coming out things have been noticeably friendlier (not in a euphemistic way, just actually talking about stuff in a warmer tone). Which is surprising, but I’ll take it!

    Things might all turn out OK after all. ☺️