Of course plenty of anarchist thinkers have thought about this. Of course non-authoritarian decision-making can solve small issues, if it’s done right. If people give up on organizing because they can’t figure out these sorts of problems, they’re simply not very committed to the process, and it is that non-committal attitude rather than the small problems themselves that can poison and destroy a community.
Essays could be nice, but I don’t know any off-hand. That said, I myself am an anarchist thinker. I don’t have to be published or be considered “great” in order to know anything.
It’s not a fallacy. I’m not side-stepping; I’m confronting your concerns directly. I’m not saying that anarchist groups never disintegrate because of petty issues, nor am I saying that anarchist groups are always immune to these problems. What I am saying is that it is possible for such groups to do well, depending.
It’s just simple logic. If you’ve ever experienced a successful negotiation and compromise situation with another human being, with whom you had some conflicting interests, you’re aware that it can be done. Extrapolate it to more people, who happen to be anarchists, and there you have it. It just depends on how able and willing everyone involved is, in connection with the particular problems that they’re having.
You’ll have problems in literally any and every group of people, but how good people are at dealing with them varies a great deal.
I understand your cynicism, given the state of the world, but it’s inaccurate and also discouraging to others if you go about stating things like “But petty small-scale little shit where it’s managing annoyances and small grievances, I don’t think non-authoritarian decision making can solve.” It’s not always, but it can, sometimes. You know what I mean?