• Bondrewd@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Meaning your flawless archetypical view of people failed and now you are dehumanizing them instead?

    Thing is, heros are shown in measurable ways. How hard they run, fight, raise weights. How they overcome whole body paralyzation.

    Real life is different. It is about small menial shit for 90% of people. How you decide in that minute, what words you choose to say in that instant. And you have to do that a hundred thousand times. That is to be a hero in real life.

    I am terrible at socialization and bonding with people. For that I have been reprimanded dozens of times because Im full of inappropriate shit I do. I have always wanted some big thing that will differentiate me so I dont have to suffer from feeling like Im black sheep. But that never comes.

    • Jorgelino
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      1 year ago

      “flawless archetypical” = not a sexual predator

      • Bondrewd@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Most people get cancelled because they say fucked up shit. Not by being predators.

        As I said, the same way you imagine heroes you like to imagine you really have to fuck up to be marginalized. Those are the shining examples of canceled celebrities. But most of the times its for just blabbering about bullshit.

        It might not be ok, but think of how little words can mean yet how seriously we take them.

        • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Most people? Is that a fact or a feeling?

          Words mean little?

          Come on dude, words mean everything. It’s how we express ourselves. Lazy words, disconnection from social grounding and reinforcement only leave you isolated, uninformed (socially/experientially) and speaking things you don’t really mean exactly.

          Part of cooperation and team work as a species is social skills. Because how else do you expect to speak with an alien?

          Back to the original comment, this all wraps up. These people broke social contracts and were thusly ostracized (usually temporarily, lots of “cancelled” bounce back either via an apology or a rejection of social contracts. And I mean total rejection of social contracts. They push ideologies like “mind your own business” so they don’t have to cooperate. To socialize.

          I’m really sorry that you’re having a hard time with socializing. When I was young I had the same problem and for a long time. Eventually I floated into these crowds of people that push those ideologies I talked about. They were impulsive, disrespectful, mean spirited and negative all the fucking time.

          Since then, I spend time seeing a therapist so I can work out my insecurities and “we live in a society” questions and it has been the most informative and valuable choice of my life. It’s night and day now, I can easily pick out people stuck in those ruts and it sucks because I can’t make them take that step towards finding help from someone who’s a professional. Not to mention cost, finding a good persona match for you, etc. you have to really want to not be miserable for the rest of your life. For me, it was being miserable about being miserable that finally pissed me off enough to deal with my shit.