crosspostato da: https://feddit.it/post/4364185

Found on FB:

­«I-know-all anti-Catholic: “Christmas? But Christmas, like Easter, like all your other holidays were pagan celebrations! Don’t tell me you don’t know?”

As I am about to upload the historical-philological broadside on the original authenticity of Christmas, I pause for a moment, reasoning. No, not this time.

I take a breath and…

Me: “That’s right. We got them all. And if you keep complaining, we’ll also take Spring Break, OktoberFest and the Furniture Show.”

I.k.a.a.c: “Ahah! Then you admit it… Wait, what?”

Me: “You got it, smartass. We’re a bit rusty, but you said it yourself: for centuries we appropriated all that barbaric junk and turned it into traditions thousands of years old and beyond, shaping Western civilization on the necropolises of antiquity. Not one has been saved, not one that has survived Christian reinterpretation: Romans, Greeks, Germans, Celts, Slavs… It’s all our stuff. And those would slaughter us in the arena or eviscerate our evangelizers! You people slaves of consumerism complaining on Threads think you’re a challenge?”

I.k.a.a.c: “But what do you think…”

Me: “We’re already the main promoters of that environmentalist Earth Day trinket, it would take us two seconds to move our Day for the Care and Custody of Creation from September to April. Wanna bet?”

I.k.a.a.c: “You can’t…”

Me: “Too late, my friend, you lost Black Friday, we are already making selections for the Saint Donor who will supplant it.”

I.k.a.a.c: “But what…”

Me: “Oh, yeah. And say goodbye to Pride Month, we’re already re-organizing Corpus Christi month, with permanent Eucharistic adoration of reparation from rainbow things. Oh, and your mother has given her availability for the general secretariat!”

I.k.a.a.c: “Leave my mother alone…”

Me: “And listen, do you like Shark Week? We just need a companion devotion to the Assumption, and we’ve left Stella Maris on hold for a while.”


Yes, in my opinion we should start doing that again.»

  • De_Narm@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    If you had that kind of power, you could start by reclaiming Christmas I guess. While Santa is mostly rooted in christianity, neither reindeers nur elves are particulary christan. Rudolph, one of the most prominent characters, originates from a childrens book. Santas whole modern apperance was designed by Coca Cola. Last Christmas, the most popular song, doesn’t even mention religion. Sure, there are church events, but at least in my country only a few old people go there. Never been there myself. Same with Easter. They very much grew into their own things and developed their own separate lore. They all belong to our new primary religion Capitalism.

  • dodoM
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    10 months ago

    Hahaha, I have seen that before. It is really quite beautiful. The Church did the same thing with the Aztecs. They took what was good about their culture and removed what was bad. Then let them take the good and use it to praise the One, True, God.