I went out with this girl that was WAAAAY out of my league. We walked around the museum, had some brunch, it was a good day. I was nervous, though, and I didn’t make any moves. Same thing happens, no texts or calls for days. Send her a text, she says she thought I wasn’t interested because I didn’t try to hold her hand or anything while we were walking. I wish I could say that I handled that news well, but I honestly don’t remember what I said. I’m sure it was defensive and argumentative though, because that’s how I am. I never got a second date with her. Advice from a guy with low self confidence: fake it. Don’t be an ass, but treat your partner like an equal and you’ll get a lot further that way.
Lots of caveats to this so don’t just blindly go around asking people for a kiss or whatever, but for a date, especially the second half or end of the date, I think a good rule of thumb is to assume they want the kiss/hand hold/etc, BUT the critically important thing is you should just ask first and respect whatever answer they give. “Can I hold your hand?”, “Do you want to kiss?”, etc. If the women in your story and ops had done that, they almost certainly would’ve gotten what they wanted, but often people expect men to be the one to initiate, and no matter what gender you are it’s scary to do anyways.
Sorry bro, but some women may want to be asked, and some women find it to be an immediate red flag weird thing to do demonstrating lack of confidence. You can’t win.
Eh, some people don’t want to be asked, but also, if they can’t handle being asked (especially for the first kiss. Later kisses rarely need to be so explicit) then you’re probably dodging a bullet anyways.
I went out with this girl that was WAAAAY out of my league. We walked around the museum, had some brunch, it was a good day. I was nervous, though, and I didn’t make any moves. Same thing happens, no texts or calls for days. Send her a text, she says she thought I wasn’t interested because I didn’t try to hold her hand or anything while we were walking. I wish I could say that I handled that news well, but I honestly don’t remember what I said. I’m sure it was defensive and argumentative though, because that’s how I am. I never got a second date with her. Advice from a guy with low self confidence: fake it. Don’t be an ass, but treat your partner like an equal and you’ll get a lot further that way.
Lots of caveats to this so don’t just blindly go around asking people for a kiss or whatever, but for a date, especially the second half or end of the date, I think a good rule of thumb is to assume they want the kiss/hand hold/etc, BUT the critically important thing is you should just ask first and respect whatever answer they give. “Can I hold your hand?”, “Do you want to kiss?”, etc. If the women in your story and ops had done that, they almost certainly would’ve gotten what they wanted, but often people expect men to be the one to initiate, and no matter what gender you are it’s scary to do anyways.
Sorry bro, but some women may want to be asked, and some women find it to be an immediate red flag weird thing to do demonstrating lack of confidence. You can’t win.
You don’t want the ones who see red flags everywhere. This won’t change into the relationship.
This is a good and valid point
I apologize for my gender. We really should’ve formed a monolithic hivemind so we can all want the same things by now.
Yeah, get on that!
/s
Eh, some people don’t want to be asked, but also, if they can’t handle being asked (especially for the first kiss. Later kisses rarely need to be so explicit) then you’re probably dodging a bullet anyways.