We’re pretty distant. I’m older but only by 17 months. I love my sister and wish her well but I don’t trust her enough to be close with her. Our mother really did a number on us and I have to be very careful what I tell her, because I don’t have any faith she won’t share it with our mom. And it’s a shame because if we could talk honestly I think we’d have a lot to commiserate on. As it stands we trade texts very occasionally, mostly focused on nostalgia for some TV show or game we played as kids. Never anything more personal than that. It’s usually months between texts.

Her dog died and I wanted to send a sympathy text, but my mother asked me not to because she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone the dog died… well then why on earth did you tell me!!!

We are two women in our forties still goosestepping around a difficult mom who I strongly suspect is borderline, and because of the way she treated us growing up, our sibling relationship basically became collateral damage.