But even some progressive gay white men say they feel alienated from a movement they see becoming more radical, particularly online, where the tenor of conversation is often uncivil.

Hot take: I’m honestly, vocally sick of settler-gay men who demand that you handle them with kid gloves when their entire existence within the community is an existence blanketed in microaggression at best, when they’re not being outright full-on macroaggressive about someone that ‘doesn’t fit their “preference”’; and I’m genuinely glad people are starting to talk about it.

  • PosadistInevitablity [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Hmm, it is an interesting question. I fully admit I am in the wrong here, reacting as if it is a personal and homophobic attack.

    I think our mutual life experiences have lead us to perceive certain behaviors as abusive even when the intent was not there from the other side. From that misunderstanding, mutual anger is born. I am someone that has no queer support network. I am relentlessly punished by my community for not conforming. I am threatened with violence. I perceive someone calling out my identity with the abuse I suffer at the hands of that community.

    When someone claims the right to “punch up” I perceive it emotionally as being personally stomped on.

    I get irrational, and emotional. I then say stupid things I come to regret. I fully understand that were I rational, I would not perceive this as a serious personal attack.

    Thus, I fully agree I am in the wrong. I would only ask for understanding that this is born out of abuse by the society that we as leftists mutually oppose. Resorting to personal attacks seems pointlessly hurtful in this case, because it doesn’t serve any purpose besides making both genuinely upset sides more upset.

    • IzyaKatzmann [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Well, I would certainly like to validate your experience. I think at times folks can get self-righteous (god knows I do) and in their crusade they can cause hurt to folks who have more in common than not.

      It feels like that may be the case, if so it sucks meow-hug

      Power to you comrade, you got folks here who are rooting for ya.