First thing I did upon starting my work day was to open a beer. Just one out of two purchased for the occasion of yesterday being payday. I then proceeded to skim through my inbox and appointments for the day, concluding that beyond migrating this one production system over to the new VPN there’s not going to be a whole lot happening today. Just like most other days.

Second thing I do is to fire up my personal PC. For three reasons:

  1. Write this post
  2. Check if there are any new torrents worth downloading
  3. Check my personal e-mail to see if the competitor has gotten the paperwork ready. I’m so looking forward to jumping ship for the competition.

So, long story short, I worked for a company we’ll call A. We had a customer that we’ll call B to whom we sold a few older production systems. Then A got bought up by huge company C. Initially I didn’t mind. But while A was the perfect size for me - Big enough to give me a nice budget and the resources I asked for, company C is 90% red tape, where I can’t do shit without approval from everyone. On top of that, people more skilled at office politics than I managed transfer all of the interesting aspects of my job halfway around the world. Then, it turns out that a couple of former coworkers of mine joined company B as consultants, and they wanted me on board. 30% pay increase, and I get to do what I liked to do again. That’s an easy choice. I can’t jump over soon enough.

So while I now am severely overpaid to do ridiculously easy stuff, I’m so fucking demotivated and sick of my employer and all of its corporate bullshit (which constitutes 80% of my inbox nowadays) that even when I do nothing, and I’m sitting in my living room couch, I fucking hate it.

I had a revelation around half a year ago, where I was out in the field, and I was having a beer with a friend/coworker. “It’s not fun anymore…” we agreed. That’s when I started toying with the idea of looking elsewhere. I used to enjoy what I did for a living. I found my work day interesting, the right amount of challenging, and it catered to something I was good at. And I know most people have more valid complaints than their job not being fun, and I know that I’m spoiled in that regard. I hate my current job, not only because it’s not fun. But because it’s turning me into someone I don’t want to be - A bullshit employee with a bullshit job.

I don’t know where I wanted to go with this post, or what I wanted to achieve. I just needed to vent, even though the gas that comes out of the vent is a moist fart with not a whole lot of pressure behind it.

  • alex [they, il]@jlai.lu
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    1 year ago

    I hope the new job is going to work out for you!

    Personally, I’m pretty unhappy in my company, but I’ve mostly been using the free time to do things that I can be fulfilled with - especially Wikipedia editing, which can be done while remaining available for the colleagues and even looking like I’m working because I’m online :)

    Maybe this could be some kind of partial solution for you as well?

    As for the alcohol, I’m so sorry for this and I hope things will get better. If you feel like you’re losing control, I highly recommend checking out if you can get professional help, by a specialist who won’t judge and is there just for that.

    Good luck!

    • iforgotmypasswordOP
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      1 year ago

      It’s under control. I allow myself one or two beers on pay day, and I limit it to a sixpack on weekends. I’m not 100% dry, but i’m not falling off the cliff either. I’m fine as it is now.

      I am about to complete my long running Factorio game that I usually play during work hours. Once that’s done I need to figure out something new to do.