When I make a new friend online and we hang out a lot in a short space of time, I find myself hyperfocusing on wanting to interact with them. I try my best to hold myself back to what would be an acceptable level. It gets to a point where I feel like almost nothing else matters but their next response.

Does anyone else have this? If so, is there a coping technique I can do to reduce it or make it more bearable?

  • gid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I do this, and can relate with how nerve-wracking it is. I’m afraid I haven’t hit on any techniques to stop it entirely, but for me I found things like mindfulness practices help with some of the runaway or obssessive thinking. Also, finding hobbies or activities I can do by myself has helped me feel less like I’m only happy when I’m with/talking to my “favourite person”.

    • Solivine@sopuli.xyzOP
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      1 year ago

      Hobbies help a bit, but the problem is they start to give my brain less and less value when I have a new favourite person so to speak.

      • gid@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, I understand that. I haven’t found an easy solution to that.

        With hobbies, the thing I’ve found most useful is to set a structure of making that time for myself to do the thing I enjoy. Even if it’s just an hour or two, one evening a week. That way I’ve mentally created the space where I can say “that time is for me, to do my hobby”. Sticking with it, even if I think “I’d rather be with my favourite person at this time” helps add some balance (plus it’s a defence against that feeling of neglecting myself when I’m hyperfocused on someone else).

        • Solivine@sopuli.xyzOP
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          1 year ago

          That’s a good idea, unfortunately I have trouble sticking to times unless I’m letting someone else down

          • gid@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Well I don’t know if it helps, but the way I think of that is that if I didn’t stick to the times, I’d be letting me down.