Serious question.
Since a lot of online leftist spaces have people from the LGBT community, I sometimes do some research and reading or watching on whatever people post. It’s interesting but not really relatable to me. The questions I have came up after watching a video posted on here. I t was something like incel to transfemme pipeline or something-something Mari? Super interesting and all, and i thought the comments were insightful, but I still didn’t relate to it all. I was born a guy, I look like one and feel like one, and no matter what I do that’s the way I’m treated. Like a straight cis guy. Some people post in communities like on Hexbear and idk if they’re joking but they mention how they should’ve known they were trans because they did something feminine or masculine or whatever the opposite their assigned gender is. What’s the difference between that, and tomboys or flamboyant gay men? Anything I did that was feminine, it was out of curiosity but made me generally uncomfortable. Honestly the guys I grew up around thought a lot more about what it’s like to be a woman than I ever did, and they act a whole lot more manly than I do.
My life really wouldn’t really feel that different if I was born or identified as a different gender identity. It’s not something I ever really cared much for, and gender just isn’t something I really think about. I’m not the most manly of the men, since I think the stereotype is unrealistic. I just do what I do, and no one really questions it or treats me different as I get older. I feel like most people who are interested in this type of thing are already in the “LGBT-space”. I never felt that way. I guess after reading all this stuff about how other people deal with the society we live in, I spent some time thinking about what it would be like to be in their shoes. It didn’t really change anything. I’m just attracted to feminine types romantically, and I was born and feel like a man. Why fix what isn’t broken for me? That’s my logic.
I was wondering why some people use they/them, she/them, he/them, or even both she and he. How did you come to that conclusion and why? Or how did you know what was more comfortable for you? To me this just seems like a social construct that doesn’t effect me. I just think it’s cool to have non-conforming people existing around and feeling comfortable with who they are, since it lifts a lot of strict gender norms on people like me who just chill.
Those people are usually talking about how they felt doing those things
It almost certainly would. The way you relate to societal expectations are shaped partially by the expectations themselves. Cis boys and men in particular are usually able to use what I’ve heard called the belligerent masculinity loophole: That is, they can often do something feminine without being seen as more feminine for it, if it’s done with an unashamed and sometimes confrontational attitude. That was my experience anyway, and it meant that almost nothing I did ever came under gender-based scrutiny. My masculinity could consist of almost anything I wanted it to, but only because I fit the masculine stereotype well enough to begin with. No such loophole exists for femininity
Well yes, they’re the ones who want to talk to other LGBT people about shared experiences and such
Broadly speaking, that covers people who don’t identity fully or at all with masculinity or femininity. Everyone’s reasons are their own, and that’s as far as it can really be summarized tmk
It is, and that includes xenogender folks. Be aware though, that the stakes for trans issues are incomparably higher for trans people than they are for gender-apathetic people like I used to be. This means that expressing apathy beyond describing how you personally relate to your gender can be disrespectful. To people who may have gone through serious shit for expressing their gender, it can rightfully piss them off to imply that they’re taking it too seriously