Hello Beehaw,
I have recently witnessed a few worrisome incidents of online bullying and harassment towards transgender individuals. It was incredibly uncomfortable to witness. My attempts to show kindness to the bullying victim were met with measured hostility. The victims of these attacks were targeted individuals.
Beehaw, I am asking for your help to build up my online toolkit, so I can better prepare myself to be an ally. I want to know - How can I help? What can this random internet person do to show that somebody out there cares? What should I try to be careful of?
I think the best protocol is report the bad actor, not engaging with them (especially inserting yourself into a situation you’re not already in), working on personal tolerance for verbal abuse and tactics for healthily managing feelings that come with getting bullied, and ultimately knowing when to remove yourself from a situation when it’s not beneficial for you any longer.
Remember that online harassment that you speak of generally falls under trolling. Trolls do things “For the lulz”. Their goal is to entertain themselves by getting other people mad, sad, upset, or making a scene. If you don’t take the bait, you can minimize the benefit they get out of trolling.
Getting familiar with privacy/safety settings on site you frequent is important for addressing targeted harassment.
To address your question, I don’t know if showing a victim that someone cares is necessarily what ALL victims might want, you are just some random anonymous user to them. They may just want to not talk to people, or to talk to people they trust. Recognizing boundaries is important, especially when someone has been the victim of someone trashing those boundaries through harassment.
Personally, as a trans woman who has been targeted in online spaces, I’d prefer you speak up. People who aren’t involved standing up for trans people is what makes the difference. If you’re talking about a massive platform, it may be something of a lost cause, but in any moderate sized community that’s what makes the difference between a place where I feel comfortable and a place I never come back to.
In these situations, a community’s silence speaks volumes.