I have no clue either. I don’t have any friends. I have one friend from high school/college, but I moved about 200 miles away when I married my wife. We text each other occasionally, but it’s not like we’re going to hang out together.

I’ve thought of trying to make friends, but the thought of going out, meeting people, and trying to make a connection with them fills me with anxiety at levels I haven’t felt since my dating days. In fact, it’s very much the same anxiety. No, the end result of these meetings isn’t quite the same. (I’m looking for a friend, not a girlfriend.) Still, there’s that feeling of needing to socialize and make yourself vulnerable in the hopes that you match up properly with someone.

Until recently, I’ve contented myself with my wife and boys. But my boys are getting older. My oldest is already in university and my youngest is going there in the next few years. So I’ll eventually be left with just me and my wife. And I work from home now, so I don’t even have co-workers to socialize with.

The desire to find a friend is rising, but so far hasn’t beaten the anxiety of meeting new people.