Me while explaining where I post to a normal person

pepe-silvia

  • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Was life better when you were not using hexbear? Sometimes I think of all the time I spend on here and think it’s a waste, even though I mostly use the website at work and at like 2am when I have a midnight snack lol.

    • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I mean I spent more time on tic tok and tumblr instead which was far far worse for my mental health, and when I wasnt on social media at all life got kinda boring and i was just as depressed. also I tried “being less angry” (thats what the white therapist told me to do at the time) during this time, I stopped reading the news in general , tried to “focus on real life” which yeah nothing is better for my mental health than going to leftist stuff and being around people who think im cool and smart and not crazy. but then im still bored the rest of the week and now im ill informed and not mentally stimulated and I was going to dsa meeting and sometimes the people there suck (the men can be gross and chauvinistic). i started going to PSL stuff and Food not bombs stuff, doing mutual aid is truly a game changer, I no longer feel like a useless piece of shit. I came back here at some point and found a very different community. The edgelords and stupidpol types had been purged and everyone was trans now and I re-came out as nonbinary (i was out in high school before irl bullying and the transmedicalist online got to me) so it was an amazing fit. this place is far less toxic before and has AMAZING mods. Now this is not to trash the old sub there was a time where cw suicide ideation

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      I was so hopeless and I made a post on the original sub after bernie lost a second time. I had plans to kill myself they gave me so much hope and encouragement. they called me comrade and told me about all the struggle that has come before and how the fight for a better world isnt over. they legitimately save my life.:::


      my old therapist was wrong, yall are great for me especially when my depression hits yall are so understanding. this community has ruined my sense of humor lol. I just also have to do real life things also not being poor and skipping meals in college helped most of all. my new therapist likes yall and calls you my “internet community” and says that this can be apart of a healthy balance and that queer people often have to turn to online spaces and thats ok. also Ill be honest its embarrassing but I used to like, pretend to be a cis man online here and yeah that was bad for my self esteem but its fine because no one misgenders me or calls me a girl on here (and if they do they apologize immediately). the last thing that has been great for me is the block button and my new blocking philosphy, im horrible at disengaging so I now block people when ever I get too heated and unblock them once I forget why I was annoyed in the first place. its a fantastic system. so yeah I love this place and im never leaving. Only thing im struggling with now is that i have moved recently and all the leftist orgs are an hour drive away AND im soooo anxious, like having panic attack anxious, ive been to my local psl once and they are TOO cool man. I feel so awkward, so many of them are bad asses who have actually saved local lives and i have panic attacks when cops follow me in stores, but they THINK IM COOL TOO, they think im so well read and smart and informed about international politics and i cant tell them its just @SeventyTwoTrillion@hexbear.net 's news threads and all of yalls bullying me to read lenin. its artificial coolness. ive been avoiding my therapist because I said I would go again and I still haven’t im soooooo anxious and I dont know why. also im off of my anti depressants!