• raindrop1988@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I might as well post this retelling of the story that I keep in my Notes app for some reason:

    On a cool, clear night - typical of Southern California - Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

    Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. Ironically, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. He insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

    Warren makes a left at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them, excited to find people to play with. To his chagrin, he discovers they intend to misappropriate his material possessions. The hopeful thieves reveal their firearms, and Warren realizes he is in a considerable predicament.

    Meanwhile, Nate disregards the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly deflecting these ladies of the evening (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, engaged in an on-going encounter with the young miscreants.

    Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief at his literal misfortune. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

    Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to intervene combatively to deliver his friend from harm.

    The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He has no small amount of trouble accepting the events currently unfolding, in his own demesne of all places. As he imagines himself escaping in a surreal fashion, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

    Nate finds himself with seventeen firearm cartridges - sixteen held in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round in the chamber and ready to be fired - to expend on the group of robbers. It is implied that all seventeen rounds are exhausted in the encounter. Subsequently, Nate generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, despite it being clear that Nate undertook much of the effort alone. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are loose women nearby, should he seek amatory intimacy.

    Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that originally coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows of a way to satisfy his urges. Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on his account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

    The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate delivering a short lecture on their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by daring anyone to approach the style.

    There follows a brief discussion of the genre’s musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that of the treble in more traditional musical forms.

    Nate asserts his confidence by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge would find their hopes dashed should they attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. In a confusing non sequitur, he goes on to note that if any third party were to smoke as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication almost daily. From Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana.

    Nate concludes his delineation of the evening by issuing a threat to any blowhards in the audience, suggesting that he and Warren will promptly and decisively deal with any similar incidents in the future, presumably by engaging any antagonists with small arms fire.

    • AnticorpOP
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      1 year ago

      What a serendipitous occurrence that you should stumble upon this video while possessing such a text reference. A humorous coincidence indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading, as it provided me with a much needed repast reprieve. Allow my gratitude be known to you for sharing such an ancient, and entertaining text.