Maybe an odd question, so I’ll unpack it a bit. Back during the time of the Michael Brown shooting, I remember hearing about how black parents often have “the talk” with their kids about the pigs. About how they aren’t there to help, about how to stay safe around them, etc.
I’m white, my kids are white, and I realized I need to have my own ACAB talk with them eventually. This weekend, my older toddler said to me “the police keep us safe”. I’m guessing she picked it up from day care teachers because I don’t let her watch any TV that glorifies pigs and I live in a kinda reactionary area.
When she asked, I kinda fumbled and just said “not really, the police don’t keep people safe”. I knew that wasn’t a great answer but she’s little so she just sorta heard it and then moved on to her next unrelated topic. I’ve been thinking about it. I have some time, but at some point I need to talk to her and tell her the truth about cops.
Do you all have any advice about how to explain the reality of policing in America to white kids? I’m making that “white” qualifier for a reason. In white spaces and communities, the copanganda kids face is intense. The cops are portrayed as these kind, benevolent peacemakers who are only there to help. And frankly, the cops themselves do a great job propagandizing white kids. They make sure to have all these positive interactions with them when they’re young. That’s what I have to fight against. I know because that was my experience as a white kid growing up. I never really had negative interactions with cops myself. Shitting on cops was very much socially forbidden among my Mayo-American social circle. And the last mental domino to fall in me becoming a leftist was realizing how absolutely shitty cops are and their real role in the system. I really want my kids to be able to see the cops for who they are, even though I know how much of an uphill battle that’s going to be for me.
I’m a zoomer who has absolutely no insight on parenting. However, I have a lot of middle class white friends who grew up to hate the cops. I think what happened, besides the 2020 protests, was bad experiences many of us had in high school. There was a school cop who clearly did absolutely nothing except make kids feel uncomfortable. There were also an awful lot of kids who got in trouble for things like possessing a single joint, while nothing happened the kids who did actual bad things. Also, a lot of us knew kids who had the book thrown at them for small things like shoplifting once. And of course many of us got speeding tickets and such when we started driving (which maybe we deserved).
At some point, your kids are going to encounter situations like this. I would think that the best thing to do is talk to your kids and get them to tell you about their and their friends experiences with cops. At some point, they’ll have some negative experiences, and that seems like the perfect time to explain the broader history of policing and its impact on minority communities. It’s probably not a conversation that they need to have right away, they’ve still got lots of time to figure it out.