Today I had a work call with a colleague who has been mentoring me for a few months now (nothing serious, just someone to ask now and then if I need advice). Around half way through this call, once they had answered my original question, out of the blue and unprompted they asked “wasp, have you considered that you might be neurodivergent?”
From the short conversation I then had, they have noticed that I hyperfocus, I can’t organise for shit, I regularly stop mid sentence and change the subject, and that I bounce between trains of thought rapidly which makes it hard for people to keep up. I was a bit surprised as I don’t work particularly closely with this colleague and while I’m aware that I do these things they have never really been mentioned before, and certainly not attributed to anything other than me being a bit overenthusiastic.
I won’t delve too deeply here, but today has certainly been a day of self reflection. Regardless of whether I am or am not neurodivergent, I have always felt able to pass as neurotypical and today has been the first time I have had anyone question this. Suddenly I’m thinking that maybe I should be taking the possibility of me having ADHD a lot more seriously. The penny has finally dropped that I need to get this checked out.
Any advice on what I should do next? I’ve booked in to see my doctor, but what would you all recommend to a potential ADHD newcomer?
My partner was also the one who suggested that might have ADHD. It sort of made sense to at least try since I’d been struggling with being “normal” since I was about 8, so I gave it a shot.
So I got diagnosed last year as an adult. Getting diagnosed doesn’t immediately change anything (well, no shit), but it can help you be better informed when developing systems to make your life more functional.
For example, having things you need to do a task close by on hand. By having a small trash can on my desk, compared to just a bigger bin on the other side of my room, I no longer pile up trash on my desk forever before throwing it away once I run out of room.
In regards to medication, if you’ve managed to make it this far and hold down a job like me, you’re likely to be prescribed some short acting medication to start for days you really need to get things done.
I have inattentive type ADHD and I take Ritalin 10mg only on days I need to either get a lot of work done, or when I have long meetings to attend because I struggle to stay awake when I’m unengaged.
Before this was all suggested to me, I honestly thought I was narcoleptic because I was always such a sleepy person when I’m bored. It took having a mutual friend get diagnosed for my partner to realise similarities, and then me getting diagnosed to realise that the friends I attract tend to be “different” themselves.
My parents continue to refuse to acknowledge that I’m anything but neurotypical, which had made my younger years a lot harder than I wished it could’ve been.
The diagnosis just helped me be more aware about the specific challenges I have to face, like task paralysis, or the compulsive filling in I do when a friend pauses too long in the middle of a sentence, or how I struggle to remember things when I get distracted. The ADHD was always a part of you, but now you can find life hack tips that actually work!
Best wishes, from a fellow late-diagnosed person :)
as another middle-aged person who’s been dealing with a lot of the issues both you and OP mentioned - do you have any tips for task paralysis? that’s the one that has had the biggest impact on me (as a former workaholic in particular)
If you’re not always on medication, like me, I try to actively do a few things:
I generally have problems with going to bed on time (it’s still 2:30am, but I’m working on it…), and I realised that I could go to bed more immediately if I brushed my teeth when I took my shower so I wouldn’t get into task paralysis doomscrolling on my bed and either staying up way too late or falling asleep with bad oral hygiene.
Other things is like putting out the laundry basket in the middle of your path the night before so it’s easier to grab it and bring it over to the washing machine the next morning. I use Google assistant to set a timer now so I’m more likely to remember to hang the clothes out to dry. It’s not perfect, but I’ve at least had to rewash my clothes less due to me forgetting.
There’s still that agony of “oh god I have to do a thing”, but on days you really need to get small (but seemingly insurmountable) tasks done, I make a list of all the tasks I need to do, write a number next to the task in the order I have to do it, and then note down roughly how long it takes to do something.
Then, I set the timer, and set it to count down. It provides just a little additional push to start doing things, even if it’s an absolute slog.
P.S. could you tell me more about how your task paralysis and workaholism would impact you? That seems quite interesting
What kind of tasks are you having issues with? For myself getting a proper diagnosis and therapist helped especiallywith the little things. It was getting medicated that helped a lot with larger tasks. I remember the first day I started on it, I had just stepped outside to get a package and saw a part of my yard full of weeds that had bothered me for about 2 months. I set down the package and pulled the weeds and continued on my day. There was no more fighting my own brain to get tasks done.
Thank you for this - I can relate to this and it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone!
Especially with parents. My parents are, in my opinion, both textbook cases of undiagnosed ADHD (especially compulsiveness and hyperfocus). Yet they are both against any form of label that might define you as “different”. Not in an oppressive way, more a "Does it matter? You are who you are regardless” way. It’s probably not been helpful for them or myself and may explain why I’ve always tried to ignore signs to “be normal” and not ask for or seek support.