I have to ask this. Is there a service where I could bring my own FQN like Notgoogle.com and then have them handle emails for me? But with a twist… I want notgoogle.com to send and receive emails via that outside entity, but I want to send the emails from a self hosted server that maybe has mailcow or similar and I want that same server to receive the emails from the outside company. Ideally the outside company is basically just a relay from my IP to the outside world and vise versa. The outside company would basically hold the emails until my server checked and downloaded them. any advice on this. Hopefully with a useful step by step guide from somewhere in the webs?
it actually has yet another upside. when i do receive spam or phishing on such an alias, i go to the portal or shop, change my emailadress to a newly created alias and then i also write an email to the service describing that i got a spam or phishing mail to the email alias, only they and me know about, i also cite how many other spam mails i got for other aliases (usually zero) and suggest that the data was lost on rather their side, not mine. In the past companies usually ofzen “assumed” that their customers used the email elsewehere and the leak on their side was just a hypothesis easily denyable, but only two parties knowing about that address while only that particular address was leaked seems somewhat more convincing to them. of course it could be anything their webserver, their cloud provider, some third party their cloud provider uses, some fourth party their cloud providers provider uses , their email provider, newsletter provider, proxies like cloudflare a.s.o., but as i host my emails by myself, there is not other party involved on my side (besides the VM provider) but at least not without then leaking “all” of my other aliases at the very same time. that happened a few times until now over the years and it really feels great beeing on the “capable to prevent and react” side of it =) that is you really know who failed then, you can offer that little help that they know that too and can prevent their one-time-leak from annoying you more than once.
also interestingly: it was until now always the “good” looking companies that failed this way, not those a bit dodgy looking webpages where i only subscribed to their newsletter cause i could turn off spam anyway.
however i had the idea of parsing logs for all deleted aliases so that i get statistics of how long spammers keep trying after they got ‘unknown user’ first time. but i didnt implement that yet.