I cannot play on time. Not in terms of missing beats, or losing the click in the middle of a song, but in that my timing is almost always off. I compared my played notes to the click in the DAW, and I’m usually rushing, sometimes by 30-40ms. I remember Adam Neely said once that 10ms is barely acceptable, so yeah.
I tried dividing the distance between clicks in my head, doubling the metronome tempo, moving with the beat, consciously conpensating for the rush, nothing helped. Therefore, my questions - how’s your timing doing? What can I do to improve mine?
Chase the sound you are looking for. That’s pretty much my generic advise for any music related question. Being aware of what you want to change is 90% percent of the battle. The rest is changing technique, gear, etc. subtly or drastically to get there. This may be enough for the problem to naturally fix itself.
More specifically, I find that it is all about feeling the music with your whole self. “No shit”, you say. Stay with me for a second and I will get to what I mean. I’m primarily a drummer, so you’ll have to adapt my advise to guitar. When I am playing something a little more chill and I want to play behind the beat, I lean back (so I am further away) just a bit. If I have time in between beats, I make exaggerated, almost showy, movements that don’t let me come in early. The trick is to keep the flow regardless of whether I’m hitting the drum that beat or not. Perhaps you have to fix your posture and keep your pick hand moving bigger movements. When the big movements aren’t practical, picture it in your mind instead. If you have an entrance, start the movements a few beats early.
When I want to play on the beat or ahead of it, I lean forward and pump myself up mentally. With the change in posture and mindset, I am a totally different person. Part of it could be that being just a bit closer means I hit a few milliseconds earlier with the same motions, though I think it is more mental. The trick here is that my body is relaxed either way and I keep the fluid motions.
Back to my thesis: I bet you are focusing too hard on the technical aspect of what you are playing and not feeling the vibe the song is supposed to have. I think of it as the difference between reading the lines in a script versus becoming the character. You have to feel the emotions you are trying to express with the guitar.
Also, make sure your whole body stays relaxed. I can’t stress that enough. Try turning your brain off, connecting visually with band mates or listeners, try to see the forest instead of just the tree in front of you, and smell some roses. Just really feel the song.
Forgive me for all the metaphors. I hope this helps.