• threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works
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    8 hours ago

    Oh boy, where to begin? There’s a bunch that range from implausible, to unsettling, to simply absurd:

    • Crookshanks used to live with the Potters
    • Hagrid is a Death Eater
    • Voldemort’s rudimentary body was Bertha Jorkins’ unborn child
    • Draco actually loved Hermione
    • McGonagall had an affair with Crookshanks
    • Harry hallucinated the events of all seven books
    • Wizards used to sh*t on the floor and vanish the evidence
    • Snape was Harry’s real father the whole time
    • Mrs Norris is a maledictus and Filch’s wife
    • Voldemort secretly had a daughter