• Elle@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Ah, yeah, so that’s mainly an issue with my paraphrase not adequately capturing the context.

    The context of that point was in relation to the video’s highlighting of how it can be both a little weird and detrimental to listen only to other men about how to be appealing to women, and to think that they know better than women about what women themselves may want. A lot of the video is referencing and trying to push back against the whole pick-up artist, be a manly man, how to woo the ladies kind of advice and incel venting floating around some online spaces. In trying to paraphrase that I dropped that context and phrased it more firmly than the video did, so that was my bad, as it wasn’t saying only behave as your partner might want, but to try to recognize what it is they do like about you as you are and appreciate that, even if you may not understand it. E.g. liking when you’re being silly despite that going against some views of what men are “supposed” to be like, i.e. “stoic & serious”.

    This is why I also had the second point paraphrased as that’s a big part of the balance to the first. You definitely don’t want to bend over backwards and go against who you are to whoever you’re trying to attract, and that’s emphasized in the video, especially towards the end where I paraphrased the second part from. The video’s conclusion is basically, “Don’t fall for people telling you they have the absolute answers to how to get with other people, and ultimately, just be yourself. If you have a negative view of yourself, focus on picking up hobbies or learning some skills and improving yourself so that you can learn more about yourself, like yourself more, & feel better about being you.”

    In other words, a variation of the old advice of, people won’t like you if you don’t like you, or something like that.

    • CrypticCoffee
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      1 year ago

      Fair points, and thanks for the clarification. It’s a very long video so I appreciate the TLDR.