• Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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    22 days ago

    In highschool I was challenged, BY MY CRUSH, to play “the Awkward Game”

    What does this game entail? Well it’s simple. All you have to do is do or say something that makes the other person feel awkward. Once they bail, you win. If you know the other person is very uncomfortable with people in their personal space, simply sitting next to them could be enough to make them feel awkward enough to move or call time.

    Her first move? To take off her bra under her shirt, pull it out through the neck of her shirt and throw it at me.

    Move two was sitting on my lap

    Move three was to shover her arm through my sleeve and around the back, essentially hugging me closely with no bra on, sitting on my lap, in a very form-fitting outfit.

    I STILL DID NOT UNDERSTAND

    WHAT ELSE DID I MISS OUT ON??

    Perception is a solid 8/10. Wisdom is clearly a healthy 2.

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeM
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      21 days ago

      Check this story out. So freaking embarrassing.

      I was in college and my gf had recently broken up with me, so I was just grieving the loss by bouncing around clubs to see who I would run into since my ex I and would always go to the same club/bar with the same social group. As I walked into one club, I saw a girl I had worked on a project with. Btw, she was gorgeous and always very nice and sweet with me. She said hi and asked me what I was doing alone. I told her that I had just broken up with my gf, so I wanted to try out new places. She got really happy, was welcoming, gave me her drink to drink out of, and told me I could hang out with her and her friends for a while. I was happy I had a friend of my own that was caring when I was going through a tough time. We chilled and danced that night away. At last call, I had to figure out a ride home. She said her friend was driving her home, offered to take me back to her place, and she’d take me home in the morning, so I take it. I was broke broke, and cabs were way too expensive.

      We get to her place, and I ask if I can have some sheets for the couch. She says she doesn’t have any, but I can share the bed with her. I get in her room and it’s a twin size, so I ask her if she’s really okay with it. I was in the Marine Corps and can sleep anywhere. She gets under the cover and tells me to get in. I ask if it’s okay if I sleep in boxers because jeans are too uncomfortable. She makes a silly face and says, “Duh!” I take off my pants, get in bed, give her my back, and pass out. The next morning, she was so weird with me and gave me a ride home. Maybe she was really hung over? I know I was. After that, she didn’t really want to talk to me anymore.

      A week later, my ex tries to get back with me but says that her friend saw me with the girl. I got happy and said that I was with the girl because I knew her from class, she was really nice, and even gave me a ride to her place to sleep off the night then took me home the next day. See, I’m not the loser that needed her for friends like she would tell me. My ex gets so upset about it, interrogating me for details. I’m open as hell about it because I didn’t see anything wrong. In fact, I was proud that I had cool friends that looked out for me even without my ex. She’s super upset now and discusses it with her parents, who tell her that I was just trying to know if I was still wanted. She then forgives me. I’m like what for?

      This was not the only time a girl was really nice and let me sleep in her bed and then didn’t want to talk to me after that. Do I snore a lot? Maybe I move a lot when I’m sleeping. Sometimes, when girls would offer for me to stay at their place, I would warn them by telling them that I think I snore a lot. If I do, just wake me up.

      Years later, I’m telling my roommate about how weird the girls in undergrad were and that they were so flaky. One day they’re your friend; the next day they don’t respond to text messages. He tells me why they would get upset, I’m thinking, “Hmmm, maybe?” Years after that, I realized what happened by reading other people’s similar stories. 🤦

      #JustAutismThings

      Edit: @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com, you’re going to like this one.

      • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de
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        21 days ago

        Heh, yeah, that seems pretty dense.

        Also: I hope you got away from that ex girlfriend of yours. Breaking things off, then trying to get back together and questioning things that happened in the time off makes her seem like a very bad, controlling person that will drop you the moment someone “better” comes around.

        • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeM
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          21 days ago

          Also: I hope you got away from that ex girlfriend of yours. Breaking things off, then trying to get back together and questioning things that happened in the time off makes her seem like a very bad, controlling person that will drop you the moment someone “better” comes around.

          Oh yeah, totally! I see her behavioral pattern now, but at the time I was oblivious. I must have frustrated her soooo bad. We eventually split but stay more distant friends. She gets a new boyfriend and wants me to meet him. I’m thinking to myself, “Sure. I got along great with her ex, so she probably has a type and I’ll get along with the new one.” I meet him and this guy is awesome! We get a long so great, we start hanging out apart from her, going rollerblading, playing pick-up sports, tail gating, etc. I’d be at a party and ask, “Yooo, it [exgf’s] boyfriend coming?”

          Several years later, I tell my roommate who knew her about it. “You know who was cool? [Exgf’s] new boyfriend. I wonder what he’s up to.” My roommate said that she was trying to make me jealous. I was like, “Jokes on her! He became my friend so why would I be jealous?” No no no. That I would be jealous of him being with her. What? Why? Pfft, yeah right! After everything, why in the world would I want to be with her? As far as I was concerned, I felt more comfortable around her knowing that she had a boyfriend because boundaries would be clearly defined. She must have been soooo frustrated, she bought a copy of Forrest Gump just to play it and yell insults at the tv. lmaoooo

          Man, sharing these stories are a trip! Thanks for entertaining them 🙂

      • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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        19 days ago

        Oof. That’s heavy. I never would have gotten that far, even.

        I don’t know about you, but the moment I realized (years later) I actually yelled “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???” to myself because it was so obvious in hindsight!

    • Jourei@lemm.ee
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      22 days ago

      Nah she just wanted to be comfortable without a bra and hug you, that is all! /j

    • NeuronautML
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      21 days ago

      This one time in university i was in a train back home. Cute girl is sitting next to me and i had some reading to do for calculus so i open up the chapter and make some headway on my work as the trip was going to be 3 hours.

      I overhear her conversation on the phone. She says she’s going to my hometown and she doesn’t know where X place is. X place is super popular. When her conversation ends i say, sorry for overhearing your conversation but if you need help getting to X i can give you directions. She asks me to give her directions i do and she thanks me.

      She starts asking me some questions about my home town and i tell her. Then I’m like, ok I guess she’s done and go back to reading. She tries once more to ask questions about my calculus book. I’m wondering why is she so into calculus. The conversation fizzles out and we sit quietly for the remainder of the trip.

      The neuron that was supposed to fire to warn me of being hit on fires when I’m hailing a cab at my destination. I still think about how i totally missed it and she was really cute. I guess it wasn’t calculus that she was into…

  • confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    22 days ago

    I just assume everyone is being nice because that’s what I’m doing. I no longer attempt to flirt because the two times I tried resulted in absolute confusion or with them laughing at me. So it’s confusing when multiple times in the past where people just start to kiss me. How long were they flirting with me? When did I flirt back? What’s even happening? I thought I was just being friendly…

    More confusing is ending up in someone else’s bed without realizing you were brought there for sex until it starts happening. Even more confusing still is ending up in my own bed with someone who had plans of sex before I ever had a clue.

    I’ve generally lived most my life in conservative areas or have been around conservative types of people so this isn’t a common occurrence for me. When I travelled and lived abroad or enter spaces where people are comfortable being and expressing themselves is when I start to feel visible to the world again.

    Regardless of the situations I find myself in, still can’t read a person’s behaviour while I’m there in the moment. I’m only able to see what’s happened when I have time to reflect on the experiences in a quiet space. I always tell people they would have more success flirting with a wall because a wall won’t rationalize flirting into niceness.

    • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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      22 days ago

      I used to be opposite, where I would constantly mistake friendliness with potential romantic interest. After I got rejected and messed a budding friendship one too many times, I went the complete opposite route and decided not to expect romantic interest unless the woman was very very explicit about it.

  • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de
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    21 days ago

    Honestly, I choose to ignore some signs of flirting because I was a bit too often the butt of the joke of the “did you really think I would be flirting with you” game some of the girls in a few classes were playing. And I apparently was the most gullible guy out of the nerds. So yeah, that is a trust issue.

    Doesn’t help that most of the times I did try flirting after that, the girl wasn’t actually flirting with me.

    On that note, why is women flirting always “parade around and let him hit on you” kinda shit? Immediate repellant for me.