Sorry if this is the wrong place, I just really need to vent somewhere.
I had a followup today to discuss the next steps since neither guanfacine nor atomoxetine worked out. I’ve been waiting for this because I know stimulants are the first line treatment and I’ve had nothing but awful experiences with the other meds. He had me take a drug test ahead of time - to make sure I wasn’t already taking stimulants, he said. I’ve been open about everything I’m on and he said it would be fine. That was a lie.
I tested positive for a bit of weed, which I told him about. It’s legal in my state. Despite saying it was fine before (I asked, specifically), now he changed his tune and said he’s going to keep testing me and if I test positive three times he won’t prescribe me any stimulants.
The kicker? I even have a prescription for it, because I worry about exactly things like this. It’s for chronic pain, but tbh helps my depression and anxiety too. I don’t even use much - about $150 in edibles over the last year. But if I spent that much on alcohol every weekend, that would be no barrier to getting a prescription.
I went in for help and was nothing but honest, and I left feeling attacked over prescription medicine that’s been helping me. What the fuck. I’m so frustrated and angry I just want to cry. Why is it so hard to get help?
I don’t think it’s a medical reason. If my cardiovascular health were at risk, stimulants alone would be a bad idea. I’m healthy enough and my usage is minimal. He tossed out some BS about working memory, but if I go down that rabbit hole this comment will get 5x as long.
The benefit of the doubt here is he’s covering his own ass. The DEA has been threatening to crack down on stimulant prescribers for a while, especially over telemedicine (which this was). If he gets audited and has to justify why he’s prescribing stimulants to a drug user, he could lose his medical license - or he may just not want to deal with the research and extra work needed to write up that justification.
To that end, it fucking sucks, but I can’t really blame him. I just wish he had been more honest and up front with me like I was with him. We could have waited a month to take the drug test and I’d have passed it, then this whole thing could have been avoided. Instead he looks down on me and repeatedly hasn’t truly listened to what I’ve told him. I won’t pass judgment on him the same way he did to me, but I will say his style is incompatible with me as a patient. I’m an active participant in my own care and I need a doctor who will form a collaborative relationship with me, not dictate treatment decisions.