Beef and chicken glisten as they rotate slowly on vertical spits before they are carved off in razor-thin strips. Two cooks slide from a sizzling griddle to a warm toaster in a practiced dance. Mounds of fresh tomatoes, cabbage and red onions shine in a colorful tableau.
The scene at Kebap With Attitude in Berlin’s trendy Mitte neighborhood is typical of any street-side stand or restaurant where cooks pile the ingredients into pita bread to create the city’s beloved döner kebab.
But the snack’s status could be in jeopardy if the European Commission approves a bid by Turkey to regulate what can legally take the döner kebab name.
In the balance is an industry that generates annual sales of roughly 2.3 billion euros (nearly $2.6 billion) in Germany alone, and 3.5 billion euros (nearly $3.9 billion) across Europe, according to the Berlin-based Association of Turkish Döner Producers in Europe.
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In April, Turkey applied to have döner kebab protected under a status called “traditional specialty guaranteed.” It’s below the vaunted “protected designation of origin” that applies to geographic region-specific products, like Champagne from its eponymous region in France, but could still impact kebab-shop owners, their individual recipes and their customers throughout Germany.
Under Turkey’s proposal, beef would be required to come from cattle that is at least 16 months old. It would be marinated with specific amounts of animal fat, yogurt or milk, onion, salt, and thyme, as well as black, red and white peppers. The final product be sliced off the vertical spit into pieces that are 3 to 5 millimeters (0.1 to 0.2 inches) thick. Chicken would be similarly regulated.
So the Germans will just have to rename it and then hold a grudge against Turkey for being dicks?
Just call them Deutscher Kebabs and be done with it.
Or - given that Frankfurt gave us the frankfurter, Hamburg gave us the hamburger, and Berlin gave JFK a bit of an issue with doughnuts - just declare Düsseldorf to be the Kebab city of Germany and call them Düsseldorfers!
The point that speaks against the Düsseldorfers is that the thing that made Döner a universal food in Germany was the idea of putting the meat with the salad and sauce into a bread instead of serving the bread along the other ingredients on a plate. And this was invented in Berlin. I would not call it Berliner, though, for obvious reasons.
Well that’s Berlin’s fault for chosing doughnuts so speedily. If they’d held out longer a Berliner could have been a delicious meat-based food item.
I’m sorry we don’t serve Döner Kebab here, we only serve Donairs.
No say we serve dönke and make it weird.
Döner was invented in Germany. So what do they want to do?
Turkey is pissed because German döner are the best in the world, and they’re butt hurt about it.
You just pissed off everyone in the Middle East with that statement.
Except it’s true. Places all over the world are boasting German style Döner. It’s the business
You should try a Halifax Donair.
Easy solution, switch to the superior Gyros.
It’s okay. If we can buy their silence with a name, they should keep it and finally shut the fuck up. Turkey is always crying and it’s so annoying to me.
Meanwhile in Germany, the “center” right party is floating the idea of a government-mandated upper limit for the number of Döner restaurants in a city.
Yeah because of all the Turks money laundering. It’s an open secret. Of course that’s water on the mills of the more right leaning parties.
gotta clean the sweet drug money somehow.
the barber shops are much more obvious fronts tho. Dönerplaces have a legitimite use and droves of actual customers.
Now there’s a Brexit bonus! Keep your hands off our elephant legs!
One question: are German donners made from beef or did they mean lamb?
Lamb? Luxury! My local kebabbery can only guarantee “animal”.
Animal? Luxury! My local kebabshack can only guarantee “stuff”.
I want a proper British kebab. I want an angry brown man who is 94% beard to hand me a congealed slab of suspicious meat drenched in garlic sauce. Like I can tell you the kebab I’m eating right now isn’t a real kebab because I’m eating it while sober. The Kebab shop is always ran by a huge dude called Amir. Amir does not speak English. He does speak every other language in the world. Including “I’m shit myself drunk” -ese. “HARGHN JUGHBO GELRCIH PLAGHS?” you ask him. He nods. He begins shaving “meat” off that huge fucking rotisserie beef thing. Your brain, floating as it is in vodka, offers one word, “hoss?”. Amir grins. He has heard that joke before. There’s no horse in Amir’s kebabs. Oh no. Horse is for those fancy fuckers on the main road. Amir’s meat is heady mix of rat, greyhound and eastern European girls who aren’t very good at holding their breath. Amir gestures to the sad-looking vegetables on the counter, but you’ve already fell asleep with your face pressed against the counter glass. Amir tops your kebab with lettuce, cucumbers, bubble wrap and Styrofoam. He then adds so much garlic sauce that those ingredients cease to be. Amir grunts, and hands you your kebab. He grunts again when you nearly leave without paying. You stagger back to the counter and thrust a - wad of sweaty fivers into his hands. Amir gives you your exact fucking change.
Medical waste. Sometimes with a shoe still attached.
Either chicken or beef. I’ve never seen lamb Döner here. I also have never seen Döner in Turkey, tbh.
I’ve had lamb and beef in western Germany (Frankfurt/Mainz). I’ve had a few doner in turkey and it’s not the same at all, barely any veggies and no tzatziki sauce.
I also have never seen Döner in Turkey, tbh.
It’s difficult to go back to the elephant leg afterwards - it’s like the chicken doners in that you have slices of lamb pushed down onto the upright skewer. It then comes off more in flakes. When served on the street it is put on slice of ekmek bread Perhaps with a dollop of yoghurt. It’s delicious.
Godammit, Turkey, now I want a kebab!
Maybe we should regulate the name Turkey so it can only refer to birds with certain genetic sequences and people who try to control what consenting adults do in other countries.
Just call it shawarma like lots of other countries do and that’s it
