The details are worse than you might have assumed. CW: sex pestery

spoiler

Elon Musk hosted Saturday Night Live back in 2021, and while he thought he had a killer pitch for his monologue, it went over like a flaccid… well, it didn’t rise to the occasion.

Musk, the billionaire owner of Twitter/X, was on a panel at the All In Summit earlier this month and recounted his experience hosting SNL. And according to Musk, he had a really fantastic idea:

So, one of the things that I think everyone’s been sort of wondering this whole time is, is Saturday Night Live actually live.

To give Musk the benefit of the doubt — because no one wonders this — this sounds like a very classic monologue pitch for hosts who are, perhaps, a little gun-shy about doing comedy, and not him thinking people think that. Is it a good monologue pitch? That’s up for debate, but Musk thought it was great, so he went with it:

But there’s a way to test this. There’s a way to test this, which is, we don’t tell them what’s going on. I walk on and so, this is the script. I throw it on the ground. We’re going to find out tonight, right now, if Saturday Night Live is actually live. And the way that we’re going to do this is I’m going to take my cock out. And if you see my cock, you know it’s true. And if you don’t, it’s been a lie.

Now, most people know that taking one’s cock out without being asked is never — never, EVER — a great idea. But Musk and the guys on the stage thought it was hilarious. “This is the greatest pitch EVER!” a panelist exclaimed.

But as Musk continued his story, it was apparently not the greatest pitch ever, because the reaction he got from the SNL cast and crew on Zoom was not what he was expecting:

So, we come in like, like just like, guns blazing with like, ideas. And we don’t realize, like, actually, you know, that’s not how it works. And that it’s only, like, actors and they just get told what to do and like, oh. Well, you mean we can’t just, like, do funny things that we thought of?

This explains a lot about how Elon Musk operates.

Anyway, there was nothing but silence from the cast and crew. Musk and his cohorts thought the mic was muted. But then Musk revealed that he wasn’t even done pitching:

So, there’s more to it, okay? That’s just the beginning. So, then I’m, so now I’m like, so I say, like, I’m going to reach down into my pants, and I’ll stick my hand my pants and I’m going and I’m going to pull out my cock. And I told this to the audience, and the audience is going to be like, “Guh-whaaa?” And then I pull out a baby rooster. You know? And it’s like, okay, this is kind of PG, you know, it’s not that bad. This is my tiny cock.

Needless to say, this brilliant work of comedy did not make it to air.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
    cake
    OP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    This relative checks so many terrible boxes for things you hate in gaming and fiction that I wonder if he was created in a lab just to torment you.

    In a way, it almost was like he was. I had to spend my formative years around him and that fucking sucked. My immediate chud parents didn’t help with that either.

    I wish folks like that would get isekai’d into their treat worlds only to discover that ‘realism’ would utterly fuck them up.

    He’d throw violent tantrums (I don’t exaggerate; pounding the table, throwing things, even punching a wall at one point) and maybe even stamp out of the room if his character got damaged in a session. He didn’t do that during the SV-joke-about-daughter-present session, fortunately. He was relatively well behaved (probably to try to get a permanent invite back into the group, which obviously didn’t happen because we “can’t take a joke”) compared to his behavior when he was banished from my old tabletop group years before that. It wouldn’t take much for an isekai world to do him in.