• saltesc@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    90
    ·
    23 days ago

    the creature washed up on a beach near Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, she said: “[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.

  • aalvare2@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    77
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    23 days ago

    In an alternate reality, not too different from ours, this guy is gonna be the next president.

    • Seraph@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      69
      ·
      23 days ago

      To be fair, I’m not convinced beheading a whale is lots worse than what our ex president is guilty of.

      • aalvare2@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        37
        ·
        23 days ago

        That is fair lol.

        That said if we’re talking less about how awful he is, and more about how absurd his awfulness is, then nothing screams “divorced from the reality of normal people” quite like this quote from his own daughter:

        He ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.

        Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.

        If even a little of this were true….<insert the words I don’t have to describe my feelings here>

  • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    53
    ·
    23 days ago

    I know the latest thing to call Republicans is weird…but this dude is a whole 'nother level of fucking weird. What the actual fuck.

    • jonne@infosec.pub
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      27
      ·
      23 days ago

      And they’ll defend this while at the same time demonizing Haitians for eating pets (which they don’t do).

  • theprogressivist @lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    edit-2
    23 days ago

    Beheads a whale, ate roadkill, and has a brain worm. True presidential material right here.

    Oh, I almost forgot. He was a drug dealer, too!

  • MyOpinion@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    23 days ago

    What have we come to. You can’t just behead a whale and drive around with it’s head on your car.

  • N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    23 days ago

    The parasites in his brain create an irresistible urge to capture and devour more parasites in roadkill. I’m not sure how that translates to a legal defense, but I’m betting he can afford lawyers who can figure it out.

    The Prion Defense?

  • Jesus@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    23 days ago

    We have laws against this so poachers don’t claim they found dead animals on the beach, and so

  • DempstersBox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    21 days ago

    I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s a fistful of felonies.

    Like if you or I had done that, we’d still be in prison