CW: SA, pedophelia, necrophelia.
So if this is too dark, feel free to delete my post. I know that it’s pretty fucked up.
So about 10 or 12 years ago someone showed me a really old clip of a stand-up comedian who managed to deliver the most horrible, soul-crushing insults without swearing. It couldnt have been newer than the 1990s. I managed to memorize the essence of the bit, because it was so striking. It went like this:
‘What in the name of the legalized paedophilia of braindead children is that? That is so pretending your girlfriend’s vagina is a dead man’s eye socket so you can come. You, my friend, are the guilty orgasm of a rape victim.’
Sorry. I know it’s incredibly dark. I apologize if I upset anyone. Again, feel free to remove my post. I’ll delete it myself if people are really upset. I just really want to find this clip.
Thanks in advance.
Holy shit that last line. Goddamn. That might be the darkest shit I’ve ever read.
Yeah. I apologize. It just stuck in my brain because it is so incredibly dark. It’s like a twisted, perverse creativity, like a torturer who comes up with new ways to cause agony. I respect the depths this guy plumbed to come up with that, but it still makes me uncomfortable.
Not OP, but… No need to apologize. That’s a dark insult and I’m glad to have read it.
Thank you for the validation. I feel pretty insecure about posting it, to be honest. I don’t want to trigger anyone’s PTSD or something horrible like that. That’s why I added the content warning and all that.
Yeah, don’t sweat it. I wouldn’t have read it if I didn’t think I could take it, and if I couldn’t, it would be my own fault for ignoring your warning. I read a lot of dark shit, and this ranks up there. I have no idea who said it. One of the guys I work with said it sounds like old Jimmy Carr, but he never got quite that dark, I don’t think.
Yeah, this comedian was definitely American. But thank you for not judging me too harshly.
Based on age of the clip the only person I can think of is Sam Kinison, who was a shock comedian with a habit of punctuating some of his remarks by yelling “Ohh! Ooohhhhh!” You’ll know it was him by that if it was him. I can kinda hear that line in his voice, but I don’t recognize it.
I happen to be familiar with Sam Kinison, and it was definitely not him. This guy was skinnier. Thanks for your input, though.
Honestly it sounds like a Dave Attell joke.
Thanks for the reply, but I don’t think it’s him. I looked up his stuff, and he doesn’t quite fit the bill. I think the guy I saw had a mustache with no beard, possibly reddish.
Ah he has a similar joke that goes:
"There’s a guy, let’s call him me, he’s fucking the left eye of a pumpkin.
‘If he didn’t want it why was he smiling at me?’"
I have no idea, but I hope you find them. They sound amazing to watch.
Right? It’s so creative. If you can stomach the content, of course.