• Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    McConnel is a true climber. He never thinks about how to weild power he only thinks about ways to obtain it. In his mind everyone else’s is the same.

    mitch mcconnel in three acts

    Act I: desperado

    A dastardly madman ties a damsel to the tracks. A masked hero is seen on horseback trailing a train that is rushing straight towards the tied innocent. Our hero dismounts his horse and gallantly boards the train. He fights off hoards of bad guys to get to the engine room. After fighting the conductor he runs straits to the brake lever and pulls it with all his might. In the final moments the trains comes to a screeching halt just before it cleaves the fair maid into a thousand pieces.

    Act II: the dastard

    A slobbernly old man stands before the city council, “if we allow such violence against innocent train workers then surely every train from here to Timbuktu will be sieged upon by ruthless bandits! This cannot be allowed, we must outlaw the masked hero!” The old man turns to face the camera and twists his dastardly mustache.

    Act III: it’s in the news

    News paper headline; “All trains from here to timbuktu sieged.”

    Newpaper byline: “masked hero outlawed.”

    Election news: Das le Turd III elected king after amassing mysterious train cargo fortune.