Everyone knows relationships are hard work. Everyone knows that relationships hit roadblocks and whatever the fuck else. Fucking why. What’s the point? Be with a person that you mostly tolerate most of the days that you exist? And even then, they still might betray you in a horrible way. I’ve dealt with a lot of pain and stress and loss in my life, and when the happy shit gets sour, I just don’t fucking get it. Why not just live my life fucking off and dying eventually.
I had a bout of this thinking a few years ago. If you keep at it, improving yourself and nudging the other person along, you grow out of this fugue state. If it reaches breaking point and one of you can’t relent, you’ll break up and move on.
But if you don’t, and it blossoms, it becomes a wonderful space to be in.
A very wise person once told me that the person you spend your life with must be first and foremost, your best friend. If they’re not that, then it’ll always be an uphill battle.