I’m a white guy from a fairly non-diverse city. I was at a grocery store today where a cashier opened up their line to serve me and, I thought, the person behind me. As they were serving me, though, they put up their lane closed sign right in front of the black man behind me. The buy was just trying to purchase some tuna, bread, and peanut butter.
The cashier basically decided to serve me, a middle class white man, but refused to serve the black man behind me. I was so shocked that I didn’t say anything. It is possible that I misunderstood the situation but it seemed so blatant.
What should I have done in this situation? Should I have spoken up? Would that have just been more embarrassing for the man who was being discriminated against?
Honestly, I’m still just in shock to see someone treated so poorly when they were simply trying to buy food for themselves. I recognize that means that I’m sheltered but I also feel like I should be able to use my unearned privilege to help others who are being discriminated against.
“Oh, I’m sorry, he was here before me…”
Yeah. If I were thinking fast that day this is the play.
I’d tell him to add his items to mine and buy them for him. If the cashier refused I would make them explain why to me.
I like this. This is the mentality I plan to take with me in case of future situations. I feel terrible that I wasn’t present enough to act appropriately in the moment.
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Thank you, I appreciate it. It’s honestly weighing on me that I didn’t say something. I guess the best that I can do is to do better next time something similar happens.
That was my first thought too.
In situations like this it’s not even clear if it is racism. There are a million other reasons why the cashier could have done that. Don’t just automatically jump to racism as a first conclusion any time a person of color is slighted.
If it were overt, and you are the type of person who would speak up for yourself, and the victim looks like they even want interference from a third party, then absolutely speak up. But don’t go jumping into other people’s business when there’s a chance your interference is going to be another thing they have to deal with that they didn’t want to deal with. If they live in racist areas, then racism is something that members of whatever race is discriminated against deals with on a regular basis. They’re going to pick and choose their own battles.
You can show support without starting a conflict about racism.
Offering to let the man go in front shows support if it is racism, and doesn’t accuse anyone or start a conflict if it isn’t. Same asking the cashier “oh, why you helping only me?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, you have only a couple of things, please go first”.
But it’s normal to freeze when shocked, and if it was not racism I do feel like the cashier would have just asked the guy behind you to put the sign after his stuff. I would have interpreted this just like you, and was a cashier for a long time. If there is a short line, you ask the last person to place the sign. If there is a long line, all bets off, it has to stop somewhere.
While this might not be racist if the cashier had other reasons to close the line as the comments in this thread may suggest, it is a sort of death by a thousand paper cuts for minorities that go through this. Actual racists like to hide their racism in plausible deniability. So it makes it difficult for anyone to call them out. Someone in the comments said they “hate when people assume it’s racism” but I feel like they haven’t considered how often BIPOC ppl have to make that call. It’s such a mental load and it sucks.
People also go through this when it comes to sexual harassment. Like, if someone puts their hands on your waist to move past you in a narrow hallway, you have no idea whether they’re acting innocently or not. But if they do that to no one else except you… it starts looking sus. That’s how a lot of this bad behavior goes. It’s not as simple as giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, because bad actors take advantage of your doubt to act how they will.
So don’t assume the cashier was being racist, but don’t assume they weren’t either. Be suspicious of bs like that, and act accordingly.
Did the cashier give off body language suggesting they closed the line due to not liking the guy behind you?
I don’t know under what circumstances a cashier might open a line only briefly, but I often realize I forgot something right when I start an activity.
But yeah, if they caught a glimpse of the guy behind you and then closed down in a pissy way, I’d probably start by offering to be a supporting voice during a complaint to the store management. If it’s any kind of pattern, the cashier will likely be out of a job.
I see cashiers at aldi open and close lanes after just a little bit all the time. Aldi workers don’t just work the register, they manage stock and cleaning as well. So at my aldi there’s usually one person on a register but they frequently radio for someone else to come when the line starts to back up. The second person was presumably in the middle of another task, and they don’t stick around at all when the backup is cleared. That sometimes means throwing the closed sign on the belt even if someone is approaching the lane.
I personally wouldn’t ascribe motive to the cashiers actions, but I wasn’t there and don’t really have any context.
Maybe just they shift ended… I hate when people go straight blaming racism for this kind of things.
If it was just the one person, and only those three items, I’d just tell them to chuck them on and I’ll grab it to save the hassle. I honestly wouldn’t have considered racism as a factor, just that the checkout person was being a proper cunt, so taking their win away is a win-win for everyone on the other side of the counter. The appropriate thing for staff to do is pass the closed sign and ask the guy behind you to put it down, so he’s the last.
But if there was still a line, often that happens because the person is long due for break and busting or hungry, and every time they try close more people pull in. So you could be looking into it too much if that’s the case.
Call them out on it. “Do you have a reason why you needed to close this line and not serve him?” Then be ready to walk out, or take a pic of the cashier and send an email to corporate for the store.
Buying the guy’s stuff could be classy, or it could be demeaning depending on if he can see you as an ally.
I’d be damn willing to walk out and let them put all the stuff back while I go somewhere else.
And what do you do with your outrage when it had nothing to do with who was in line and everything to do with the employee having an exactly 12-minute long scheduled break and the time is already running?
Have a 12-minute long argument with them, making sure they don’t get to their break?
I don’t care about racists, and never will.
And how would you know this was racist?
Registers get closed dozens of times a day in a supermarket, no matter who is in line.
Unless you’re implying that black people should be treated differently than other customers? That registers should never be closed if there’s a black person in line? That would pretty much constitute racism — as positive discrimination is still discrimination.
Have you ever worked in a grocery store?
“Excuse me, but he was in line.”
“I’m sorry, but we’re closing this register, as I have a legally mandated 12-minute break.”
“Oh, sorry, I thought you were just being racist.”
“So when my breaktime hits, if there are ethnic minorities in line, that cancels out my legally protected right to have a break? Where’d you hear this man, because first off, that sounds racist, and secondly, the union is very clear on how breaks are taken. By having to explain this to you, I’ve already lost two minutes of my breaktime. Thank you. It’s notl like this job is stressful and I’m sure you know better how our store operates.”
“Hey man, that was your decision to make. I was just telling you how it appeared. Enjoy your break (or don’t, I’m not your boss).”
“So you’re calling me a racist, for no reason? Cool. Here’s your change mister, now I’ve really got to go or I don’t get to eat or piss all day. Deepest apologies.”
"Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be shopping again at a place that doesn’t let their employees piss. You should quit for a place that treats you better. Also, I hope one day you can overcome your racism…”
“Mam, we have scheduled breaks. Mine started three minutes ago, when I closed the register. You are preventing me from having a break, with unfounded accusations of racism. I can show you the break schedule. Here. It says 10.15, ‘Jack’ s break.’ It’s now 10.18. I have to get back at a scheduled time as well. I sincerely hope you will take your business elsewhere.”
There may have been an innocent reason for the cashier’s behavior that had nothing to do with skin color. I had saw something similar where it may have been interpreted at racism but really the person was incompetent at their job. Either way good on you for caring
“Oh I’m sorry I have a few more things to get.” Then buy the stuff the dude had behind you and do not break eye contact with the cashier.
If the guy behind wants to pay you back let them.
Edit: I misread the typo
Also Boy is considered by some as a derogatory term especially when said by a white man about a black manhttps://readerandtext.sunygeneseoenglish.org/2019/11/07/racism-in-the-word-boy/
I assumed it was a typo for guy, not boy.
Could go either way to be honest and not everyone knows it could be problematic. I’ll edit my response if/when the OP clarifies the typo.
I’d like to clarify I’m not calling the OP racist in any case.
Ah, “buy” was a typo but it wasn’t meant to be “boy”. I know better than that. It was meant to be “guy”.
You need to make up something that creates a connection between the black man and you. For example, could he be your uncle, your brother-in-iaw, your daughter’s boyfriend…
Now you ask the cashier loud and clear, but very kindly, to serve this man, and make it clear that you came together with your daughter’s boyfriend and you are going to leave together but if he needs to wait in another queue again, then you would need to wait for him as well, and therefore could he please?
This way you have destroyed the discrimination scheme. You made it impossible for the cashier to give you an advantage and that man a disadvantage.
After all is done, you can still tell him that you have seen what he tried, and next time you would inform the store manager and maybe you even say a few things more.
In my opinion this is a good excuse to go full Karen on the place. Demand to talk to a manager. Just don’t go al REEEEE on them. But do feel free to make a spectacle. Call them out for the races bullshit.
Yea, you should have spoken up. This is complete bullshit.
Thank you. You don’t think that speaking up would be more embarrassing for the man that what already happened? I feel terrible that I didn’t act more appropriately in the moment, but I was too shocked to think of a good response to the situation.
My impulse would be to say something like, “excuse me, but the gentleman behind me is still waiting in line!” in a loud enough voice to draw a bit of attention. Gives the cashier space to pretend they didn’t notice him while letting him know you noticed that shit and you’re not OK with it. Also gives other cashiers and patrons nearby the opportunity to be cool and let him jump in line or help him on another lane. As long as it’s focused on the rude behavior of closing a lane without ringing up everyone in the queue, hopefully not too embarrassing for the poor dude behind you.
That cashier was a fucking dickhead. Not your fault you didn’t react in the heat of the moment, that would catch me off guard too!
I think speaking up would have allowed the clerk an opportunity to defend himself.
That is one of the most important reasons to speak up: silently judging people offers them no opportunity to dispel your assumptions about them.
I don’t know the answer to that. But if he didn’t speak up for himself I would have done so for him. Racism is unacceptable.
Yeah! You obviously know what’s better for him than he does about himself.
Homie might have severe anxiety and then you throwing gas on the fire would make it way worse.
My fucking heart rate is up just thinking about it
Cool, be complicit with it
Do you think it’s racist to presume only people of particular races need your help and protection?
Lmao
i would have let the cashier scan all my items, put them in bags, then without paying or taking the bags, walked away. if they want to pull some racist bullshit, they can take some bullshit.
Now how would you do that in OP’s case?
He had already paid and they shut the line down behind him
Just burn that money bro. Racism cannot be tolerated by carrying one’s groceries away.
Nvm it’s not clear AFAICT
